Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is about who must explain to young people how to be good members of society. Some people think that parents should teach

while

others say that school is the place to learn

this

. It is undeniable that having discipline in society has become an essential part of our life.

However

, there is no absolute agreement on whether parents should give advice or teachers. A commonly held belief is that it is the family's duty to give them good manners. As evidence of

this

, they point to the fact which proves, youngsters approximately always repeat

upbringer's

Change the capitalization

Upbringer's

show examples

activities.

Furthermore

, our country

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

one proverb which

describe

Change the verb form

describes

show examples

it: "what you see in the nest, you do when you fly".

As a result

, it means that their behavior in most cases depends on

parent's

Correct pronoun usage

their parent's

show examples

behaviour.

On the other hand

, some people claim that it is

teacher's

Correct article usage

the teacher's

show examples

responsibility how good members

children

Change preposition

of children

show examples

become in society.

For example

, they may mention that raising a child is their job

moreover

, they get money thanks to it.

In addition

, the word "teacher" comes from the word " to teach". The explanation lies in the fact that "teacher" means to give a piece of knowledge and show

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

side to youth, it is their obligation.

Therefore

, a few

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

believe that

this

heavy burden is for educators. In conclusion, taking everything into account I would argue that obviously, tutors have to help teenagers become good

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

however

, they have just

help

Fix the infinitive

to help

show examples

them. Mainly, it is

parent's

Correct article usage

the parent's

show examples

responsibility to give their child discipline and education.

Submitted by dnm.best on Wed Aug 23 2023

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Task Achievement

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Coherence & Cohesion

Consider using a wider range of linking words and transitional phrases to improve the flow of your essay, which will enhance coherence and cohesion.

Overall Approach

To strengthen your essay, make sure to equally discuss both views before presenting your own opinion. This balanced approach will showcase your ability to engage with multiple perspectives.

Structure

You've done a good job of providing an introduction and a conclusion that effectively summarize your views.

Content Use

You effectively use examples to support your arguments, showing a solid understanding of the topic.

Position Clarity

Your essay maintains a clear position throughout, which is commendable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some cultures, childrens are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Write about the following topic: Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

To meet the growing needs of food for the increasing population, country should make use of genetically engineered foods. However, some people believe that GM foods are not only unhealthy but affect nature too. Do you agree or disagree about this?

Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual labor. Therefore, working hours should be reduced. To what extend do you agree?