Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

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Nowadays,

parents

play a vital

role

in educating a child to become a good part of

society

, people thought,

addition

Add a comma

addition,

show examples

some argue that the

school

should teach them. I believe that

parents

play a greater

role

than

school

in becoming a part of

society

. On the one hand, schools can really influence their future in

society

. Since it is at

school

that

this

issue is dealt with.

For instance

, at NIS

school

they teach children how to behave,

what

Correct word choice

and what

show examples

kind of student and person they should be.

However

in most

cases

Add a comma

cases,

show examples

it is related to studies, so it does not always help a person become excellent in

society

. I believe that

parents

play an absolutely essential

role

in teaching them how to be good citizens. Since his family, those who know the child best know his character, his actions, his thoughts, and himself as a person and

thus

can work with him so that in the future he will be a good part of the community.

For example

, in the story of Robin Hood, you can see how much

parents

influence their children and their upbringing and what they will be like in the future.

Moreover

, these kids are likely to become good members of the association when they grow up.

To sum up

, it can be argued that

school

plays a good

role

in raising a child for

society

, but

parents

are more important in

this

matter.

Therefore

parents

play the greatest

role

this

regard.

Submitted by dnm.best on Wed Aug 23 2023

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task achievement

Your introduction could be clearer and more precise. Consider rephrasing it to better present the two sides of the argument, and state your opinion more clearly at the end of the introductory paragraph.

coherence cohesion

There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that detract from the clarity of your essay. Make sure to carefully proofread your work to eliminate errors and improve sentence structure.

supported main points

It would be helpful to provide more detailed examples to support your points, especially when discussing how schools teach children to be good members of society.

task achievement

You have presented both views of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.

supported main points

The main points are supported with examples, which strengthens your argument.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your view and restates the main points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

247 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Word Count

To what extent has the internet made life more convenient? Give reasons for your answer and give any relavent examples from your own knowledge or experienc.

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own answers.

Should private schools receive government funding? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.