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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given bar chart illustrates the information on alterations of international graduate proteges between 8 universities of Canada within the 5 years period.

The given bar chart illustrates the information on alterations of international graduate proteges between 8 universities of Canada within the 5 years period.
The given bar chart illustrates the information on alterations of international graduate proteges between 8 universities
of
Change preposition
in
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 Canada within the 5 years period.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was only one basic trend: upward. In 2001 and 2006, the highest amount of students
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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studied in New Brunswick,
whereas
Linking Words
 Ontarian graduates had the lowest percentage. As is presented in the chart, the greatest amount of people with a degree
were
Change the verb form
was
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 in New Brunswick, Nova Scotia and Quebec in both years and had more than 5 and 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 from 2001 to 2006.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the numbers in
2
Correct article usage
the 2
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former provinces were inclined gradually from nearly 6-7% to about 11%-12%. Whilst, the percentage
in
Change preposition
of
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 students
of
Change preposition
in
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 Quebec rose slowly and reached only
till
Change preposition
apply
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8%. It could be noticed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 other universities in provinces like Alberta, British Columbia, Manitoba, Ontario, Newfoundland and Labrador experienced the smallest changes below 5% in 2001,
while
Linking Words
 after 5
year
Change to a plural noun
years
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 they all increased gradually.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in British Columbia, the rate
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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tripled from nearly 4% to approximately 12%.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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