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Band 4

Some people think cities are the best place to live.Others prefer to live in the countryside.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #cities #place #countryside
Nowadays where to live is a difficult question for
people
. A wide range of
people
 believe that it is better to live in the
city
while
 others choose the countryside as a place to live in.
This
 writer
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
 with the first point of view and will give the reason why First of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
 it is convincing that living in
metropolitan
Add an article
the metropolitan
a metropolitan
show examples
 area is more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 to communicate.
To begin
 with, why urbanization
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 to increased and become a trend in a lot of societies because it
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
many great job and high income.
Moreover
, in a large
city
 there are a wide range of famous
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
, public transport and
another location
Fix the agreement mistake
other locations
show examples
 that you can find to help
people
 in daily life.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
city
 life is not good for
people
’s health .
Moreover
, crime is always a difficult problem to face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for
people
 who want to live in
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
 Another point
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 living in the landscape will be good for
people
’s health.
First
Add a comma
,First
show examples
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a lot of
tree
Change to a plural noun
trees
show examples
 that you can find and the public transport is not much or industrial noise.
Second
Add a comma
,Second
show examples
 it is safe for
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 and
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 because of the
unpopular
Replace the word
unpopularity
show examples
 of public transport and
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
.
However
,
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
may
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
be become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
show examples
 boring for young
people
 and
people
 who want to improve themselves or want to become more fashionable Taking everything into account, staying in the cities is better than the terrain because it's convenient.
Hence
,
this
 essay has demonstrated clear points to support living in urban.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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