IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, andmake comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, andmake comparisons where relevant.
#households #income #summarise #information #features #andmake #comparisons
The Bar graph illustrates information about the changes in the US households by annual income between 2007 and 2015,
data
Change preposition
with data
show examples
 presented
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 4-years intervals.
Overall
, the highest income was over $100,000 or more
group
 in 2007, $25,000 ~ $49,999
group
 in 2011 and $100,000 or more in 2015. When it comes to
$
Correct article usage
the $
show examples
75,000 ~ $ 99,999
group
 pattern, the
group
 figure did not
alomost
Correct your spelling
almost
changed
Change the verb form
change
show examples
 to about 15
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 during
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the survey. And, the number of
$
Correct article usage
the $
show examples
50,000 ~ $ 74,999
group
 did not up and down to around 20
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
However
, the number of $100,000 or more
group
 had up and down to about 30
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, around 22
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, about 35
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and in 2007,2011,2015
repectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
Among between
Change preposition
Between
show examples
 2011 and 2015, they significantly increased by about 10
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
Also
,
less
Correct article usage
the less
show examples
 than $ 25,000
group
 and
$
Correct article usage
the $
show examples
25,000 ~ $49,999
group
 had the same pattern.
that is
 increased by around 10
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 from 2007 to 2011 . And,
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased by about 3
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 between 2011 and 2015.
Submitted by moneekun on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words group, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: