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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #sense #competition #children #adults
This
 is a topic
that is
 being widely talked about whether
competition
 or
cooperation
 is useful to encourage
children
 to be worthy adults. Personally, I hold that
cooperation
 is more effective than
competition
 in making
children
 become useful when they grow up. I will explain my reasons in
this
 essay. One argument is that
children
 should be encouraged by
competition
. Because for individuals,
competition
 can stimulate a person's potential and make him get better results in the game. It can
also
 create pressure on others to improve and
break through
Correct your spelling
breakthrough
show examples
 themselves. A group
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 has composition inside will be more competitive and often win more and better resources. But it
also
 has disadvantages,
competition
 means pressure, it will affect the
children
's state
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that they cannot complete the work well. At the same time, it will destroy relationships. When faced with difficult problems, people will always think of
win
Wrong verb form
winning
show examples
 rather than
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
, which is
also
 bad for
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 group. In order to become a useful person to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, the spirit of
cooperation
 is essential, and it can solve some problems that are difficult to be solved by
competition
.
For example
,
cooperation
 can reduce personal pressure, and in the process of training,
children
 can
also
 learn how to communicate with others and discuss problems, and improve
children
's social skills, which are essential parts
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future work. Personally,
although
 the cultivation of
competition
 and
cooperation
 awareness in the child's growth process is necessary,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
most of the work is difficult to rely on individual strength to complete, so
cooperation
 is relatively more important.
Submitted by mashuhan55 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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