The graph below shows consumers’ average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010.

The graph below shows consumers’ average annual expenditure on cell phone,

national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010.
The line graph illustrates the data about the amount of average annual expenditure on three categories, namely
cell
phone
, national and international
fixed-line
services
in the United States during a ten-year
period
from 2001 to 2010.
Overall
,
while
the yearly spending on mobile phones increased significantly, the opposite was true for national landline
phone
expenditure.
Also
, the figure for international
fixed-line
services
was lowest during the
period
. It can be clearly observed from the chart that
while
the amount of money spent on
cell
phone
services
was the highest position of three with exactly $700, the figures consumed for international
fixed-line
services
and national
fixed-line
services
were approximately $250 and $200, respectively, in 2001. During the next five years, the average yearly expenditure on
cell
phone
services
witnessed a considerable rise to $500.
By contrast
, the figure for national
fixed-line
services
dramatically decreased to $500 and annual spending on international
fixed-line
services
experienced a slight fluctuation
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
$300. In terms of the other
period
of time, the average annual spending on
cell
phone
services
had a substantial growth from $500 in 2006 to over $700 in 2010 which reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
peak in the final year,
whereas
there was a significant decline of $100 in the average yearly spending on national
fixed-line
services
.
Besides
that, the figure for international
fixed-line
services
witnessed
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stability at $300 over the final
period
.
Submitted by luongduy30411996 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cell, phone, fixed-line, services, period with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • annual
  • fixed-line services
  • consumer preferences
  • technological advancements
  • economic factors
  • speculate
  • trends
  • notable change
  • shifts in consumer behavior
  • innovation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: