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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows consumers’ average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010.

The graph below shows consumers’ average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010.
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The line graph illustrates the data about the amount of average annual expenditure on three categories, namely
cell
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phone
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, national and international
fixed-line
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services
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 in the United States during a ten-year
period
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 from 2001 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the yearly spending on mobile phones increased significantly, the opposite was true for national landline
phone
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 expenditure.
Also
Linking Words
, the figure for international
fixed-line
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services
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 was lowest during the
period
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. It can be clearly observed from the chart that
while
Linking Words
 the amount of money spent on
cell
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phone
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services
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 was the highest position of three with exactly $700, the figures consumed for international
fixed-line
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services
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 and national
fixed-line
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services
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 were approximately $250 and $200, respectively, in 2001. During the next five years, the average yearly expenditure on
cell
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phone
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services
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 witnessed a considerable rise to $500.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the figure for national
fixed-line
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services
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 dramatically decreased to $500 and annual spending on international
fixed-line
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services
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 experienced a slight fluctuation
around
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of around
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 $300. In terms of the other
period
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 of time, the average annual spending on
cell
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phone
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services
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 had a substantial growth from $500 in 2006 to over $700 in 2010 which reached
the
Correct article usage
a
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 peak in the final year,
whereas
Linking Words
 there was a significant decline of $100 in the average yearly spending on national
fixed-line
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services
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.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, the figure for international
fixed-line
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services
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 witnessed
a
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apply
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stability at $300 over the final
period
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cell, phone, fixed-line, services, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • annual
  • fixed-line services
  • consumer preferences
  • technological advancements
  • economic factors
  • speculate
  • trends
  • notable change
  • shifts in consumer behavior
  • innovation
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