IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Surgary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #level #sugar #health #surgary #people
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Nowadays, several companies related to the
food
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 industry are manufacturing many
products
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 that cause various health problems
due to
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 the high levels of
sugar
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. Different kinds of problems associated with a huge quantity of
sugar
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 could generate overweight, heart attacks, diabetes, inter alia. On the one hand,
products
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 with a high level of
sugar
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, either
food
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,
such
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 as cookies and candies or drinks, like sodas, juice, and energetic beverages should be more expensive or pay more taxes.
According to
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 informs elaborate by the faculty of medicine of the University of Alberta, says that around 45% of the population in Canada is overweight and has diabetes and 10% of the 45% of the population previously mentioned are dying,
due to
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 diabetes.
Thus
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, increasing the price of
this
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 kind of product could generate a positive impact on the citizens.
On the other hand
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, there are many people that are completely disagree with
this
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 initiative of paying more money, for drinks and
food
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. Society considers that adults are aware of the high level of
sugar
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 contained in
this
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 product. The majority of people have an addiction to sugary ailments and they believe that the best way to leave
food
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 and drink with
sugar
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 is to follow a diet provided by a doctor . In conclusion, society needs to control alimentation and reduce the consumption of
products
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 with high levels of
sugar
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, in order to enhance their health and minimize health problems. Could be a strict solution increase the price of
this
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 aliments.
At the end
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 of the day, many unnatural and natural
products
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 contain certain quantities of
sugar
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 that could be dangerous for a human being.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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