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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Hard work and determination are the main requirements for success in life. Others think other factors are more important. Discuss both views?

In
this
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 day's age, a
person
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's
success
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 requires numerous
factors
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, Some agree that it depends on how much effort and passion you put into the
work
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,
while
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 others believe that there are many more
factors
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 that should
also
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 be considered to achieve
success
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 in life. Personally, both ideas are essential, but the latter takes precedence over the former in many cases. First of all, hard
work
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 and passion are the
two
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 essential elements for a
person
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 to
gain
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 extreme
success
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.
This
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 can be seen in many celebrities, especially sports players, who
work
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 hard and
determine
Wrong verb form
are determined
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play
Fix the infinitive
to play
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 a key role in their careers.
For example
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, Cristina Ronaldo, a well-known football player in history, since a child Despite having poor facilities, he still never gave up his dream to become a professional player.
Moreover
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, even already become a famous football player, he still has a significant workout and practice in his schedule, his passion is turning into a great inspiration for the younger generations.
Besides
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, determination is the true power to keep him working that much, these
two
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factors
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 have created a real legend in world football history. On the one hand, the fact that having only those
two
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 personalities was not enough to help people
gain
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 achievement. Living in a century that has numerous developments in every category, a
person
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 must be required more than just hard
work
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 and determination
such
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 as
:
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apply
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 being talented, honest, loyal and so on. If an individual has none of the ability and talent for their
work
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, it could be challenging for them to
gain
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success
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 in the short term. Meanwhile, people who are both talented and
work
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 hard for their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 will have more opportunities to improve their careers in the future. There are many who believe that they rather choose people who
work
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 smarter than
work
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 hard. In conclusion, achieving
success
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 was never told to be that easy,
besides
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, there is more competition in every category. So looking at reality, it is particularly important for a
person
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 to
gain
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 more than
two
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factors
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 to become successful.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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