IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

‘If you study in a university abroad, you will receive better professional training.’ Do you agree with this statement?

#‘if #study #university
The actual idea in
Bolvian's
Change noun form
Bolvian
show examples
people
 is if you
study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a university abroad, you will receive
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better professional training, is that actually true? Normally young
people
 think that
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 abroad provides them
more
Change preposition
with more
show examples
oportunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 because exist
diferent
Correct your spelling
different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of universities and many of these have a better reputation, even prestigious, it's not a secret that universities in
Bolivia
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
low performance and
this
 is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
big damage, if someone wants to go abroad for work they have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 opportunities than
people
 who
study
 abroad.
Study
Wrong verb form
Studying
show examples
 abroad is a big option but not everyone has the chance , first of all,
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 necessary a lot of money, the economy in
Bolivia
 is not really good for all
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 If they don't have the resources they need to apply for a
study
 grant, so for that reason they have to be almost perfect in their studies, it's a big challenge, by the
way
Add the comma(s)
,way
show examples
 they know
that is
 the only way to have recognition in the world
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because in our country every day the education system is failing. The most common way to go abroad for
study
 in
Bolivia
, is the exchange, because most of the
people
 have the option to choose some
people
 to come here to
Bolivia
, it is a great option too. I think that everyone
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 the opportunity to be a great professional, it's on your hands to give all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
you, studying so hard no matter where are you studying, in spite of the universities abroad
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 better, it is a complete challenge but not impossible, but if you have the chance to go abroad, take advantage of it, many
people
 would like to be in that place.
Submitted by ismael.222sr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: