Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinio

#people #sense #competition #children #adults #opinio

Some people believe that

children

need a

sense

competition

while

others think that

cooperation

is more useful than

competition

for

children

to become adults. I prefer

cooperation

rather than

competition

in raising

children

This

essay will introduce both sides and my reasons for

cooperation

. On the one hand,

children

do need a

sense

competition

Firstly

competition

can increase

children

’s abilities, including life, study and so on. By competing with others,

children

could discover their true capacities which they are really good at and exercise more about capacities which they are not good at.

Secondly

children

can get more confidence through

competition

. For those

children

who win the

competition

, they may feel a

sense

of acquisition and achievement, and become confident.

On the other hand

children

also

need a

sense

cooperation

. To start with,

cooperation

can teach

children

the importance of being friendly. By finishing a project or a work with many other

children

can realize how to get along well with other

children

Then

cooperation

can develop a

sense

of responsibility for

children

. By distributing different tasks,

children

will understand that each person in the group needs to complete their own task perfectly, which can improve their responsibility.

Last

but not least,

cooperation

is good for

children

’s mental health. Because there is no success or loss,

children

may not envy others, which can develop their mental health. In conclusion,

competition

does have several advantages in increasing

children

’s abilities and making them more confident.

However

, I still believe that

cooperation

is more significant for

children

becoming adults because it can teach

children

to be friendly, develop a

sense

of responsibility and be good for their mental health.

Submitted by mashuhan55 on Thu Aug 24 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sense of competition
encouraged
cooperation
useful adults
personal growth
ambition
real-world scenarios
stress
anxiety
winning at all costs
teamwork
shared goals
workplace
collaboration
communication
individual accountability
initiative
balanced approach
overall development
personality
individual needs

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinio

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In this technological era, personal information is stored on computers by many companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many cities have installed cameras in public places in order to reduce crime. However, some people think that those cameras restrict our privacy. Do you think the advantages of this system outweigh the disadvantages?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.