Nowadays, some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #retirement #communities #adult #children #development

In the modern days, numerous aged individuals choose to live in some facilities like aged care houses, nursing hospitals and retirement communities with other

people

more than want to live

together with

their grown-up

children

. There are some negatives in

this

situation, but personally, I believe there are more positives. On the one hand, there are some negatives in

this

circumstance.

First,

If old

people

live

together with

their adult

children

, they may have to watch their grandsons or daughters. Of course, kids are so cute and adorable but it is hard to watch all day.

For example

, In Korea, plenty of adult

children

ask their parents to watch their kids because of their jobs. So, as an outcome, old

people

watch kids for entire their lives.

Therefore

this

condition is not good for aged

people

On the other hand

, going to retirement communities has some positives. If they live there, they can meet the same generation of

people

, and

as a result

, they can play games and social activities.

For instance

, some studies show that if old

people

do more exercise and meet other

people

, it is good for their mental and physical health. Eventually,

this

state of affairs prevents seniors from suicide or solitude. In conclusion, many old

people

choosing to in facilities is a double-edged sword. Sometimes living with adult

children

is good but sometimes not. So, we must respect their choice but think about what is the best way to live together in society, which leads to making our society more harmonious.

Submitted by livewire53 on Thu Aug 24 2023

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task response

Provide a clear position in the introduction and a summary in the conclusion. Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the task question.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure by providing a more organized flow of ideas and linking sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

lexical resource

Enhance the range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate words and phrases.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure, use a variety of sentence types, and ensure accurate use of grammar and punctuation.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At some locations an increase in the production of consumer good results in damage of our natural environment. What are the causes and solution ?

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?