At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situtation outweigh the disadvantages?
It is quite common these days that the
population
of some countries
includes a relatively large number
of young adults
, compared with the number
of older people
. It is my belief that the positive effects of this
innovation outweigh its disadvantages
There are several drawbacks of the population
of some countries
including a relatively large number
of young adults
, compared with the number
of older people
. A common reason is that the population
is mostly young adults
. For
example
, If these countries
have too many young adults
. The same means the knowledge is low. We are compared with the number
of older people
. Another negative aspect can be that young adults
sometimes think so quickly, and don't think so deeply. For
example
, This
company stands for a big problem. If all the staff in this
company are so young, they can't think so deeply. They can choose a thing by mistake.
However
, in spite of these negative effects, the population
of some countries
includes a relatively large number
of young adults
can bring about important benefits. One obvious advantage is that we have a big source of employees. For
example
, a job requires all staff to be young and strong. This
iscompany so easy to choose employees. Another positive effect is that the economy will be developed. Why I said that,
the main reason is Remove the comma
apply
this
country has more young adults
. They are the main source economy
for Change preposition
of economy
this
country. For
example
, young adults
have more health and more creativity. They can create something so
great. Rephrase
apply
This
can bring about important benefits.
In conclusion, although
the population
of some countries
includes a relatively large number
of young adults
, compared with the number
of older people
have some disadvantages, it is obvious that some clearly
. My view is that the Rephrase
apply
population
of some countries
includes a relatively large number
of young adults
, compared with the number
of older people
can bring about more benefits than harm.Submitted by yeshomeclass on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite