Some people say that professional work like doctor and teacher great contribution to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that

women

Use synonyms

are naturally better at taking care of

children

Use synonyms

than

men

Use synonyms

, and because of

this

Linking Words

, they should concentrate more on parenting rather than their careers.

While

Linking Words

it is true that

women

Use synonyms

often play a central role in childcare, I partly disagree with the idea that they should reduce their working life

for

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

women

Use synonyms

have traditionally been seen as the main caregivers in most societies. They are often more nurturing and patient, which helps in raising young

children

Use synonyms

. Many

women

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

feel more emotionally connected to their

children

Use synonyms

, especially in the early years.

This

Linking Words

may make them more effective in understanding

children

Use synonyms

’s needs.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

does not mean that

men

Use synonyms

are not capable of being good parents. Nowadays, more fathers are taking active roles in raising their

children

Use synonyms

. In some families,

men

Use synonyms

even stay at home

while

Linking Words

the

women

Use synonyms

work full-time. Good parenting is more about commitment, love, and time spent with

children

Use synonyms

than about gender. Both parents should share the responsibility equally if possible.

Moreover

Linking Words

, asking

women

Use synonyms

to give up their careers may be unfair.

Women

Use synonyms

have the right to build a successful professional life just like

men

Use synonyms

do. If they are forced to focus only on the home, it limits their freedom and potential. With better support systems

such

Linking Words

as childcare services and flexible work schedules, both

men

Use synonyms

and

women

Use synonyms

can balance work and family life. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

may have certain qualities that help in raising

children

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

should not mean they must sacrifice their careers. Childcare should be a shared responsibility between both parents.

vanagorkin56

Jul 2, 2025

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Task Achievement

You could provide more detailed examples to support your ideas about shared parenting and the role of men in childcare.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the central argument. You might use linking phrases to improve flow.

Coherence and Cohesion

You present a clear argument and structure your essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic ideas & vocabulary
Expand your ideas and use the right words.

Topic Vocabulary:

indispensable
justified
revenue generation
critical contribution
balanced reward system
market dynamics
job satisfaction
talented individuals
public interest
well-being
development
mental health
happiness
attract
advocating
overpaid
equally important
ensuring
reflects

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Some people say that professional work like doctor and teacher great contribution to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the media such as newspaper should be allowed to publish information of people’s private life. Others however, think that there should be controls to stop this media frompppp this kind of information. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that all children should have a pet or an animal to look after. Other people disagree, however, saying that this depends on a child’s circumstances. Consider these opposing view and give your on opinion.

It has become easier and more affordable for people to travel to other coutries. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your experience

The cost of international travel is decreasing, and so the trend of international tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries?

“Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (For example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?”