These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #travel #countries #tourism #development

It is undeniable that in contemporary times, a larger portion of the population has easy access to international travel compared to previous generations.

While

this

accessibility brings numerous advantages, it

also

presents some drawbacks for society. In the subsequent paragraphs, I will elaborate on the reasons supporting my viewpoint. On the positive side, many individuals contend that

this

trend brings about several benefits for modern society.

Firstly

, it stimulates economic growth in various countries as tourist destinations generate substantial revenue from visitors.

Secondly

, it facilitates the dissemination of cultural knowledge and information, enabling people to gain insights into different countries swiftly and effortlessly,

thus

allowing them more time for other pursuits in their lives.

Furthermore

, the development of tourism infrastructure enhances various systems within each locality, contributing to the

overall

well-being of the populace.

Conversely

, some argue that one of the adverse consequences of tourism development is the extensive utilization of resources

such

as finances, equipment, and

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

to fuel innovation and progress in

this

sector.

Moreover

, these advancements can lead to the depletion of natural resources;

for example

, the construction of large airports may necessitate the clearance of vast areas of forests. In conclusion, I firmly believe that

while

tourism development worldwide brings significant benefits to society, it

also

poses certain challenges,

such

as increased financial investments required by governments.

Therefore

, it is advisable for regional authorities to invest wisely in enhancing travel infrastructure. From my perspective, the advantages of

this

approach outweigh its disadvantages, since it

also

plays a significant role in the state's profits.

Submitted by acaitaz on Thu Aug 24 2023

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Task Achievement

Be specific with examples: When discussing the advantages and disadvantages, incorporate specific, detailed examples to illustrate your points more vividly. This will help support your arguments more effectively.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas more fully: While your essay introduces relevant ideas, further development and elaboration of these points could strengthen your argument. Try to add more depth to your discussion on how tourism affects economic growth, cultural dissemination, and natural resources.

Coherence and Cohesion

Maintain logical flow: Your essay has a good structure, but ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs can improve the overall flow and coherence. Transitional phrases and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can aid in this.

Coherence and Cohesion

Refine your introduction and conclusion: While both are present and functional, making your thesis statement more prominent in the introduction and reinforcing your stance in the conclusion can make your argument more persuasive.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Students should be allowed to choose academic courses or practical courses, e.g carpenters. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

Some teachers think that international student exchange programs would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent.  Discuss both views and give your own opinion.