These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

It is undeniable that in contemporary times, a larger portion of the population has easy access to international travel compared to previous generations.
While
this
accessibility brings numerous advantages, it
also
presents some drawbacks for society. In the subsequent paragraphs, I will elaborate on the reasons supporting my viewpoint. On the positive side, many individuals contend that
this
trend brings about several benefits for modern society.
Firstly
, it stimulates economic growth in various countries as tourist destinations generate substantial revenue from visitors.
Secondly
, it facilitates the dissemination of cultural knowledge and information, enabling people to gain insights into different countries swiftly and effortlessly,
thus
allowing them more time for other pursuits in their lives.
Furthermore
, the development of tourism infrastructure enhances various systems within each locality, contributing to the
overall
well-being of the populace.
Conversely
, some argue that one of the adverse consequences of tourism development is the extensive utilization of resources
such
as finances, equipment, and
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
to fuel innovation and progress in
this
sector.
Moreover
, these advancements can lead to the depletion of natural resources;
for example
, the construction of large airports may necessitate the clearance of vast areas of forests. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
while
tourism development worldwide brings significant benefits to society, it
also
poses certain challenges,
such
as increased financial investments required by governments.
Therefore
, it is advisable for regional authorities to invest wisely in enhancing travel infrastructure. From my perspective, the advantages of
this
approach outweigh its disadvantages, since it
also
plays a significant role in the state's profits.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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Task Achievement
Be specific with examples: When discussing the advantages and disadvantages, incorporate specific, detailed examples to illustrate your points more vividly. This will help support your arguments more effectively.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more fully: While your essay introduces relevant ideas, further development and elaboration of these points could strengthen your argument. Try to add more depth to your discussion on how tourism affects economic growth, cultural dissemination, and natural resources.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain logical flow: Your essay has a good structure, but ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs can improve the overall flow and coherence. Transitional phrases and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can aid in this.
Coherence and Cohesion
Refine your introduction and conclusion: While both are present and functional, making your thesis statement more prominent in the introduction and reinforcing your stance in the conclusion can make your argument more persuasive.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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