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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The bar chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent. Write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent. Write at least 150 words.
#bar #results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities #summerise #information #features #comparisons #relevent
The bar chart illustrates the comparison of five Australian cities about the
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 of citizens purchasing
coffee
 or tea.
Overall
, it can be seen that Sydney, Melbourne and Hobart have an increased variation. Brisban and Adelaide have a fluctuation in purchasing.
To begin
 with, the Sydney 40 per
cent
 of
people
 bought fresh
coffee
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
40% of instance packed and 60 per
cent
 went to
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
 to brink
both
.
Moreover
, Melbourne has 95 per
cent
 of humans who brought
both
 fresh and instant
coffee
,
as well as
, 62 % of
people
 go to cafes for
both
.
On the other hand
, Brisban has the least contribution of purchase in fresh items.
Furthermore
, it has the same rate of
people
 for
both
 instant
coffee
 and
people
 who went to cafes.
In addition
, Adelaide has the least purchase of fresh items,
along with
 it having the highest contribution in instant
coffee
.
However
, Hobart reached a peak in
people
 who went to cafes,
as well as
, 90 per
cent
 of humans brought
coffee
 in the
last
 four weeks.
Submitted by fazilharis20 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cent, people, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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