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Band 7

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.

#cultures #children
In
this
 contemporary era, in numerous countries, it is said that children should strive hard if they want to gain their purposes.
While
 there are some drawbacks associated with striving seriously, I wholeheartedly believe the main benefits are more substantial since they thrive moderately and approach prosperity. On the one hand, a primary advantage of making an effort among teenagers is that what they need is to develop their minds and if they try hard to enhance their education circumstance, they will be in the right direction toward prosperity.
Moreover
, it is undeniable that not only does
this
 measure augment the ability of problem-solving but
also
 children learn from an early age that the future will not be effortless. A
further
 significant benefit is these teenagers are more likely to have better job opportunities as they have been taught to integrate creativity with knowledge which results in greater performance in occupation positions.
For example
, youths who have studied more about different subjects have better speeches in the workplace since their minds are filled with various ideas.
On the other hand
, a disadvantage of children’s efforts is that children may become exhausted and suffer from anxiety if they make an effort excessively.
In addition
, another negative point is that youngsters cannot enjoy their lives because of the sense of blame and they are more likely to allocate life as a competition as well.
Furthermore
, they do not think that they deserve some resting time.
For instance
, several pupils who have gained A+ grades are not satisfied with their lives and they always have a concern about the results.
Therefore
, rarely does it happen that a hardworking student considers enough free time which can be harnessed by parents. On balance, it is true that trying hard among juveniles would seem disadvantageous under certain situations.
However
, in my view, its positive effects in terms of solidifying education circumstances and greater occupation possibilities outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by fatemeh.gh9797 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Perseverance
  • Resilience
  • Self-esteem
  • Confidence
  • Goal-setting
  • Work ethic
  • Ambitious
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Frustration
  • Inadequate
  • Overemphasis
  • Stress
  • Pressure
  • Mental health
  • Resource availability
What to do next:
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