IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Most people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why do you think could this be? Should Government provide more financial support to the industries?

#people #films #be #government #support #industries
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Films
Use synonyms
 are being produced all over the world throughout the year. Many people suggest that
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
preferences
Replace the word
prefer
show examples
 to watch a
film
Use synonyms
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 is produced by a foreign
Use synonyms
film maker
Correct your spelling
film-maker
show examples
 rather than
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 their money to watch a locally produced movie. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion. There are several reasons
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 preference. One of them is the late rise of
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 firm industry. There were always movies being produced by our native producers but they were not advertised sufficiently in our country.
Whereas
Linking Words
 foreign
films
Use synonyms
 are marketed globally.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the large revenue they managed to generate from
this
Linking Words
 profession. Local producers need to broaden their
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
show examples
 and invest in the publicity of their work.
This
Linking Words
 will help
attracting
Wrong verb form
attract
show examples
 a huge audience to watch our native actors and actresses on the big screen. Another reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the local
films
Use synonyms
 lagging behind is the limited funds.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should give financial support to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local firms
industries
Correct word choice
and industries
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 way,
Use synonyms
film
Add an article
the film
show examples
 industry can generate an income for the country. Concurrently,
films
Use synonyms
 shot in the mountain ranges can attract tourists to the country.
As a result
Linking Words
, tourism can be ameliorated in the homeland which will
also
Linking Words
profit
Verb problem
benefit
show examples
 the authorities.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in order to make the local firm working
local
Change preposition
in local
show examples
Use synonyms
film making
Add a hyphen
film-making
show examples
 industries a success everyone has to play a part. Filmmakers need to make better
films
Use synonyms
 and market them on a larger scale. Governments need to fund the industries.
As a
Linking Words
consequence
Add a comma
,consequence
show examples
 people might start preferring local
films
Use synonyms
 over foreign
films
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by biki982008 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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