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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK.

The charts show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK.
#show #information #income #food #clothes #city #uk
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The pie chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the
expenditure
Use synonyms
 and income on
food
Use synonyms
 and
clothes
Use synonyms
 per family in the UK.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the pie charts that the higher
expenditure
Use synonyms
 was on meat, fish, fruit and vegetables between 2010 and 2013. As far as the table, there was little change in both years (2010 and 2013).
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the average income in the UK was 29000 in 2010,
while
Linking Words
 in 2013
this
Linking Words
 figure decreased to 25000.Spending on
food
Use synonyms
 and
clothes
Use synonyms
 accounted for 14000 in 2010,
whereas
Linking Words
 in 2013
this
Linking Words
 figure increased to 15000. As far as pictures, in 2010 the
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on fruit and vegetables accounted for 26% which is two times higher than the
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on
clothes
Use synonyms
 in 2013,
however
Linking Words
, the figures for other
food
Use synonyms
 was 18% and it was still unchanged in 2013.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2013 the figures for
food
Use synonyms
 and vegetables was 30% which is
also
Linking Words
 two times bigger than
clothes
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, daily products accounted for only 12% in 2010,
whereas
Linking Words
 in 2013
this
Linking Words
 figure jumped to 16%.
Finally
Linking Words
, meat and fish in 2010 and 2013 accounted for 29% and 23% respectively.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure, food, clothes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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