It is important to use land for human needs such as farming, housing and industry than to save it for endangered animals. Give reasons for you answer and include any relevant examples from you own knowledge or experience.
In
this
contemporary world, it is argued that it is vital to utilize land for human needs than for endangered animals
. I completely agree with this
idea as more and more people are being born and animals
are already on unusable land. In this
essay, I will try to draw some conclusions.
The main reason for this
statement is the growing population. All people should have a home (which requires buildings) and they must eat (farming and animal breeding). And, of course, necessary goods must be produced for the
society, Correct article usage
apply
such
as sweets, clothes and gadgets (factories). Consequently
, for all this
, we first need land. In other words
, the ground is essential for humanity's overall
well-being.
Another reason is the fact that animals
live on unsuitable territories. Take lions as an example. They inhabit Safari. However
, this
area cannot be used to build houses or for farming due to
unsuitable conditions for human life. Since it is too hot and dry, humanity and plants simply cannot survive in such
an environment all the time, compared to lions. Also
, many jeopardized species inhabit forests, the ground of which is also
unsuitable for construction. Moreover
, jeopardized species are already under observation. Specifically, in shelters and zoos, that is
, in all the necessary conditions. In my opinion, they have enough space and we should utilize the ground for our needs.
In conclusion, it is important to use the territory for human well-being since animals
have enough space and their habitats are not suitable for human life.Submitted by halilova039 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position. However, it could benefit from more thorough supporting details and examples to strengthen your argument. Consider adding specific, relevant examples or data to back up your points on population growth and the unsuitability of animal habitats for human use.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between your paragraphs. Although each paragraph has a clear main idea, the transition between them is a bit abrupt. Work on smoother transitions to enhance coherence and help readers follow your argument seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all your main points are well-supported. The claim that animals already live on unusable land could use more concrete evidence or explanation to make it more convincing.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your argument.
logical structure
The essay provides a logically structured argument with clear main points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your main ideas are presented clearly and are easy to understand.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?