Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. Discuss advantage and disadvantages to children doing so?

#children #parents #part #time #job #advantage

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Nowadays, earning

money

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is not a big deal. Some parents encourage their

children

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to get part-time jobs to take advantage of their kids' spare time. In view of

this

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point, I totally support parents in rehabilitating their youngsters by cultivating their abilities and letting them be younger entrepreneurs for two reasons. First of all, when

children

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start to work they will value

money

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. Without a doubt, the saying ''easy come easy go", is literally true. When kids spend time and effort to earn some cash they will spend

money

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on the right path.

Furthermore

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, they will not think to spend their payment on computer games of useless staff.

Moreover

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, when

children

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get part-time jobs, they will improve their abilities and talents.

This

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eventually will let

children

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learn about the main skills that the job market thrives at.

Also

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, youngsters will consider their cash to enhance their talents and prove themselves to the community.

Last

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but not least, youngsters, who get a part-time job will recognize the real world completely differently than those who are for waiting

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for

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pocket

money

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from their parents.

For instance

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, those younger entrepreneurs will respect everyone who is working

similarly

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to them.

On the other hand

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, there are some negative could pop up when

children

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get part-time jobs.

For example

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, those young entrepreneurs will not be able to enjoy their childhood span. They will be more stressed and nervous.

Such

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behaviour could cause mental and psychological issues. In conclusion, working

children

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is a weapon with two side effects, we should consider the drawbacks and benefits before letting them face the real world.

Submitted by solimanfarag777 on Thu Aug 24 2023

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. Discuss advantage and disadvantages to children doing so?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Traffic and accommodation problems are increasing and government should encourage some businesses to move from cities to rural areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Young people are highly influenced by famous people and they look up to them as role models. Is that a positive or negative development?

As English becomes more widespread as a lingua franca , there is concern that the values and culture of the English-speaking world will displace native values and cultures. To what extent is this fear justified?

Doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly. However, many of them do not get enough exercise. What are the reasons? What can be done to encourage them to exercise more?

A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child's development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.