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Band 4.5

The chart below gives some of the most reported issues among people living in UK cities in 2008 (%).

The chart below gives some of the most reported issues among people living in UK cities in 2008 (%).
#people #uk #cities
In the given chart, are presented living issues of city residents in major UK cities in 2008. The lowest
percentage
 of polluted air is in Newcastle.
However
, the highest
percentage
 of the same issues
,
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 was in Manchester, which was almost twenty
percent
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per cent
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. The rest of
big
Correct article usage
the big
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 cities
such
 as
:
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 Belfast, Birmingham, Cardiff, Glasgow and London, had a
percentage
 between seven and fifteen. The lowest rate of education and training was in Manchester, around
forty five
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forty-five
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percent
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per cent
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, whilst, the highest number of
fifty three
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fifty-three
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percent
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per cent
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 was in Glasgow and London. The lowest proportion for health service was in Glasgow with
forty nine
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forty-nine
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percent
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per cent
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,
by
contrast
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contrast,
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 the significant
percentage
 for the same issue which had
fifty nine
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fifty-nine
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percent
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per cent
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 was Belfast. In conclusion, in 2008, major cities in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, faced problems like
:
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 air pollution, education and training,
along with
 health services. It can be seen that the main challenges were the health service and the education and training.
Although
, the air pollution rate was low at that time.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • affordable housing
  • urban areas
  • overcrowding
  • homelessness
  • traffic congestion
  • car ownership
  • public transportation systems
  • commuting times
  • air pollution
  • industrial activities
  • air quality
  • green spaces
  • urbanization
  • mental health
  • crime rates
  • socio-economic factors
  • sense of security
  • waste management
  • waste disposal
  • recycling
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