IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below gives some of the most reported issues among people living in UK cities in 2008 (%).

The chart below gives some of the most reported issues among people living in UK cities in 2008 (%).
#people #uk #cities
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In the given chart, are presented living issues of city residents in major UK cities in 2008. The lowest
percentage
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 of polluted air is in Newcastle.
However
Linking Words
, the highest
percentage
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 of the same issues
,
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apply
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 was in Manchester, which was almost twenty
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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. The rest of
big
Correct article usage
the big
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 cities
such
Linking Words
 as
:
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apply
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 Belfast, Birmingham, Cardiff, Glasgow and London, had a
percentage
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 between seven and fifteen. The lowest rate of education and training was in Manchester, around
forty five
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forty-five
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Use synonyms
percent
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per cent
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, whilst, the highest number of
fifty three
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fifty-three
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Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 was in Glasgow and London. The lowest proportion for health service was in Glasgow with
forty nine
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forty-nine
show examples
Use synonyms
percent
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per cent
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,
by
Linking Words
contrast
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contrast,
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 the significant
percentage
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 for the same issue which had
fifty nine
Add a hyphen
fifty-nine
show examples
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 was Belfast. In conclusion, in 2008, major cities in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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, faced problems like
:
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apply
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 air pollution, education and training,
along with
Linking Words
 health services. It can be seen that the main challenges were the health service and the education and training.
Although
Linking Words
, the air pollution rate was low at that time.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • affordable housing
  • urban areas
  • overcrowding
  • homelessness
  • traffic congestion
  • car ownership
  • public transportation systems
  • commuting times
  • air pollution
  • industrial activities
  • air quality
  • green spaces
  • urbanization
  • mental health
  • crime rates
  • socio-economic factors
  • sense of security
  • waste management
  • waste disposal
  • recycling
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