Government should spend more money on promoting healthy lifestyles rather than treating illnesses. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the idea?

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Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
should allocate more resources to raise awareness of healthy lifestyles
instead
of focusing predominantly on treating
diseases
. I strongly agree because promoting better living not only improves Well-being but
also
reduces the long-term economic burden of medical treatment.
Firstly
, the addition of funds in regard to campaigning for better lifestyles can reduce the prevalence of preventable
diseases
.
Moreover
, with
this
effort, residents can be equipped with knowledge of how to live healthily.
This
education helps individuals make informed decisions about their diet, physical activity, and
overall
well-being.
For example
, countries like Finland, and the UK have implemented various wellness initiatives, including lifestyle programs, taxes on sugary drinks, and education campaigns, to prevent diabetes. These proactive measures not only improve individual well-being but
also
foster a culture of health-consciousness within society.
Additionally
, by investing in prevention, governments can significantly reduce future medical costs associated with treating chronic
diseases
. When people lead healthier lives, the incidence of
diseases
such
as diabetes and obesity decreases, resulting in fewer hospital visits and long-term treatments.
This
not only alleviates pressure on healthcare systems but
also
frees up resources for other important services.
For instance
, studies have shown that every dollar spent on diabetes prevention saves multiple dollars in medical costs in the long run.
Therefore
, focusing on prevention can create a more sustainable healthcare system. In conclusion, allocating resources to promote healthy lifestyles is not only a cost-effective approach but
also
crucial for improving public well-being. By preventing health issues, governments can reduce long-term medical services costs and create a healthier, more prosperous society.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that preview the main idea of the paragraph. This small structural addition can further enhance the coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Consider including a counterargument to show the other side of the topic. This can further demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and focused response to the task, addressing the importance of promoting healthy lifestyles over merely treating illnesses.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, with effective paragraphing and logical progression of ideas from the introduction through to the conclusion.
task achievement
Main points are well supported with relevant examples, such as the initiatives taken by Finland and the UK, which strengthen the argument and provide real-world context.
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