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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Newport city center from 2003-2012.

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Newport city center from 2003-2012.
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The given chart illustrates several adjustments that occurred in 3 particular areas of crime in Newport city
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 between 2003 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most noticeable change was seen in the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
burglary
Fix the agreement mistake
burglaries
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the number of
robbery
Change to a plural noun
robberies
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held steady at approximately 500
incidents
Use synonyms
 during
this
Linking Words
 period. In 2003, the majority
crime
Change preposition
of crime
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 cases belonged to burglary, with a total number of 3400
incidents
Use synonyms
. What’s more, in 2004 burglary saw an exponential rise with 3700 reported cases.
However
Linking Words
, from 2004 till 2008 the figure encountered
drastic
Correct article usage
a drastic
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 decline with just 1000
incidents
Use synonyms
. In the following years, there was spotted only a minimal change. In 2003, the number of car
theft
Fix the agreement mistake
thefts
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 held fairly steady at around 2600 till 2004. In 2005, it saw a marginal decrease, from 2600 to only 2000 reported
incidents
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, beginning with 2006, a minor growth was noticed. The
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
incidents
Use synonyms
 that occurred in robbery accounted for a considerably lower proportion, held steady at approximately 500 reported cases.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words incidents with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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