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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Newport city center from 2003-2012.

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Newport city center from 2003-2012.
The given chart illustrates several adjustments that occurred in 3 particular areas of crime in Newport city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 between 2003 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most noticeable change was seen in the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
burglary
Fix the agreement mistake
burglaries
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the number of
robbery
Change to a plural noun
robberies
show examples
held steady at approximately 500
incidents
Use synonyms
 during
this
Linking Words
 period. In 2003, the majority
crime
Change preposition
of crime
show examples
 cases belonged to burglary, with a total number of 3400
incidents
Use synonyms
. What’s more, in 2004 burglary saw an exponential rise with 3700 reported cases.
However
Linking Words
, from 2004 till 2008 the figure encountered
drastic
Correct article usage
a drastic
show examples
 decline with just 1000
incidents
Use synonyms
. In the following years, there was spotted only a minimal change. In 2003, the number of car
theft
Fix the agreement mistake
thefts
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 held fairly steady at around 2600 till 2004. In 2005, it saw a marginal decrease, from 2600 to only 2000 reported
incidents
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, beginning with 2006, a minor growth was noticed. The
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
incidents
Use synonyms
 that occurred in robbery accounted for a considerably lower proportion, held steady at approximately 500 reported cases.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words incidents with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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