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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #technology #effects #relationships
Owing to the technological breakthrough,
people
 are inclined to use social media
such
 as Facebook. It is widely argued that newer
technology
 may inflict the bonds of close relations negatively. I completely agree with the given phenomenon, since newer technological
communication
 may weaken genuine human connections and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
show examples
 about social isolation and family issues.
Firstly
,
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cutting edge
Add a hyphen
cutting-edge
show examples
communication
technology
,
people
 tend to meet their friends and relations through social media rather than visiting them physically.
This
 will mitigate face-to-face interactions and
people
 can hide their true face from the public.
As a result
, genuine relationships may be broken.
For instance
, a recent study which was done by the
ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
show examples
 of
social affairs
Correct your spelling
Social Affairs
show examples
 in Sri Lanka, reveals that 97% of
people
 are reluctant to visit their kith and kin.
Therefore
,
it is clear that
 digital
communication
 devices have many drawbacks.
Secondly
, modernized
communication
 ushers social loneliness and alleviates familial bonds. To be more precise, a person who is addicted to social media
such
 as Facebook, cannot maintain a good relationship with his or her family.
This
 tendency leads to many social concerns.
For instance
, approximately 97% of individuals who spend more time with digital devices, tend to report divorce cases,
according to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
recent research which was done by the authorities of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
.
Hence
,
by engaging
Verb problem
spending
show examples
 more time with modern
communication
technology
 may
results
Wrong verb form
result
show examples
 in personal lives
negatively
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. In conclusion, there is a common belief that
cutting edge
Add a hyphen
cutting-edge
show examples
communication
 may weaken individuals’ relationships
as well as
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
show examples
 about negative ramifications. I totally agree with the given view, because newer
technology
 results in many social burdens. It is recommended that the sovereign government should impose public awareness programs and impose stringent laws on social platforms to protect society as well.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interactions
  • messaging apps
  • social media
  • non-verbal cues
  • family bonds
  • dependency
  • digital communication
  • superficial relationships
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • social isolation
  • virtual connections
  • emotional satisfaction
  • real-life interactions
  • technological intrusion
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