Nowadays the population of young people is more than old people in the countries and it benefit us. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Recently, the total number of people in the world is still increasing significantly, especially youngsters.

This

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phenomenon leads to youngsters being plentier than the old person in the countries and some say that it benefits us. I strongly agree with the statement and I reckon that it is incredibly true

due to

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the effects it brings,

such

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as a new and fresh mindset from them and the feeling of security that our future is guaranteed by knowing that there will be many pupils who are able to replace the old ones.

First,

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our children have a very different mindset because of the

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

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and environment where they grow up,

this

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leads to a more innovative and adapted behaviour to create more. They are capable of adapting to the technology which old ones find

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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hard to do.

For example

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, children are adapted to smartphones, Artificial Intelligence, and smart TVs.

This

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phenomenon causes them to comprehend

these technology

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this technology

these technologies

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. In short, the different

way

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ways

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of thinking possessed by the new generation are enabling them to innovate and adapt to

Correct article usage

apply

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new

condition

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conditions

show examples

Moreover

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, lots of young pupils generate the feeling of safety that the older generation is going to be replaced by the newer and better one. They are able to replace any job

that is

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unoccupied better, faster, and more innovative.

For instance

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, in Japan, they are worried that they can not make sure that their civilization is able to endure

due to

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the lack of new successors. In short, it is important that our inheritors exist to continue what their predecessors have built and done. In conclusion, I strongly agree that the population of our successor being far more than the predecessor is benefiting us,

due to

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being able to evolve our world towards many advancements and being capable of replacing them.

Submitted by twiggseducationbdg on Fri Aug 25 2023

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Nowadays the population of young people is more than old people in the countries and it benefit us. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that industries growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people argue that industrial growth is creating environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion?

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It has been suggested that all young adults should be required to undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in the community. Would the drawbacks of such a requirement be greater than the benefits to the community and the individual young adults?

Some believe students should not use smartphones at schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?