IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Fast food is becoming a part of life everywhere, negatively affecting our lifestyles and diets. To what extend agree or disagree?

#food #part #life #lifestyles #diets
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's job market, fast
food
Use synonyms
 is turning into the type of
food
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 popular
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the most of population around the world.
However
Linking Words
, it is commonly believed that fast
food
Use synonyms
 has a major impact on
people
Use synonyms
's diet and lifestyle. In my opinion, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 view and accept
this
Linking Words
 will have dual main negative effects on
people
Use synonyms
 eating
convenience
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
 essay will be proven by looking at the negatives mentioned below. Coming to the first influence is
also
Linking Words
 the highest impact that eating
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 too much will make
people
Use synonyms
 have excessive weight gain and they lead to obesity
easier
Replace the word
easily
show examples
 than other
people
Use synonyms
 because they absorb a large of sugar, salt and calories sparely without doing exercise or playing sports to balance the content of substances in the body.
Besides
Linking Words
 that,
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 has so much salt.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it can make
people
Use synonyms
 accumulate large amounts of cholesterols accidentally inside blood vessels, and high blood pressure will become earlier.
For example
Linking Words
, it can take Europe as an instance, the most of patients who have high blood pressure or cardiovascular conditions usually are the humans who use
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 for most meals.
Thus
Linking Words
, eating
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 too much will cause your health to decrease and it
also
Linking Words
 causes many serious and dangerous diseases.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, depending on
convenience
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 may negatively affect
people
Use synonyms
's cookery skills. For explanation, It can be seen that when
people
Use synonyms
 don'
t
Use synonyms
 spend their time in the kitchen, their skill in cooking will drop and they can'
t
Use synonyms
 cook their favourite dishes.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, buying a large number of
convenience
Use synonyms
 foods may cause
people
Use synonyms
's finances to decline significantly.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Growing excess
food
Use synonyms
 and drink packaging
also
Linking Words
 increased domestic waste in cities.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the USA, most of the total rubbish is always from fast
food
Use synonyms
 which is out of the day and
people
Use synonyms
 can'
t
Use synonyms
 continue to eat it. Especially,
this
Linking Words
 trash
also
Linking Words
 raises the proportion of environmental pollution. Henceforth, it can be stated that
convenience
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 is a controversial
food
Use synonyms
. Even though fast
food
Use synonyms
 is cheap, delicious and convenient, it
also
Linking Words
 gives you a lot of negative effects on your health and your finances. And, students shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 eat
convenience
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 for long times
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Structure your essay more logically to ensure that each paragraph flows naturally from one to the next. Use more linking phrases to improve overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Focus on providing more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments and make them stronger.
general
Reduce the number of grammatical errors and improve sentence structure to ensure your ideas are conveyed more clearly. Proofread your work or seek feedback to identify recurring issues.
task achievement
Clear stance and argumentation are provided, which aligns well with the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which help frame the argument effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: