Nowadays, some international companies become more and more powerful. Some people think it is a negative development. Do you agree or disagree?

As it is enunciated by a proportion, the burgeoning growth of international
organizations
is a risible act. Albeit, there is a dichotomy of views on
this
concern, I harbour the belief that
this
apprehension is partially warranted, it should beg for some sort of exemplifications and justifications. On one hand, having a vast amount of
power
in one mega organization may lead to egregious repercussions
such
as becoming uncontrollable, even for the respective government.
For instance
, if an organization becomes more powerful than the respective government, it may use its
power
to control the governments,
as well as
the majority of international
organizations
exploiting smaller entities and manipulating political landscapes, since their GDP is lesser than these companies.
Moreover
, having
such
power
may notoriously be used to force other small
organizations
to gain more
power
and more profit.
In contrast
, the enhancement of
power
in international
organizations
may pave the way for poor countries. As an illustration, they may establish manufacturing sites in poor countries and may act as a catalyst to generate employment opportunities for lower-level income families
while
boosting the economy of the country.
In addition
, not only do these
organizations
help people with aid when there is a catastrophe happens but they
also
build infrastructure for poverty-driven communities
such
as water lines and food supplies.
To sum up
, the burgeoning of businesses may dreadfully become uncontrollable and use small
organizations
to enhance their profits.
However
, they may support poor countries by generating jobs
while
aiding with basic infrastructure
such
as food and water.
Submitted by Trevor Nugara on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and generally serve their purpose. In your introduction, clearly state your opinion on the prompt to direct the reader. In your conclusion, restate your viewpoint and summarise your main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Your response addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the essay. However, for a higher score, make sure to address all parts of the task more directly and offer a more thorough analysis of the issue. Provide a balance between both sides of the argument where applicable.
task achievement
Some of your ideas are clear and comprehensive, yet there's room for more development. Aim to fully elaborate on your ideas with specific information and reasoned arguments. Clarity is key, so avoid overly complex sentence structures that might obscure your meaning.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples but they could be improved by offering specific details to illustrate the impact and significance of these examples. Make sure examples are directly related to the main point of each paragraph and contribute to your overall argument.
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