In some cultures, children are often told that they can achive anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this messages?

Although

Linking Words

, in some ideas, adults teach

children

Use synonyms

that if you make an

effort

Use synonyms

, you can obtain everything,

this

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belief has good and bad effects on young people.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both aspects.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there is a positive aspect to

this

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idea, witch

children

Use synonyms

are motivated to attempt some things, and

this

Linking Words

challenge might cause an ideal result for them.

For example

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, when it comes to school life, exam results are very important for young people.

Therefore

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, once they learn that studying hard with their efforts brings good results, they are motivated to study and it could become a habit of study.

As a result

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, those

children

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grow up as well-educated students, and it is quite possible that they can achieve to enrol on a famous university.

On the other hand

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, it can be considered that believing

this

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idea too much brings a terrible disappointment

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when

children

Use synonyms

are failing some things.

This

Linking Words

is because we have to take their gift or talent into account.

For instance

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, if a child who is bad at doing sports makes a significant

effort

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to be a famous soccer player in the future, it is obviously challenging and might be almost impossible. Despite

this

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fact, if the child keeps working hard, believing that making efforts never betray himself or herself

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when someday he notices that

this

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is not true, he will be depressed. In conclusion,

although

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there is no doubt that making

Use synonyms

effort

Correct article usage

an effort

show examples

provides us with positive results, it is certainly true that believing too much in

this

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idea will hurt us someday. Because success needs factors of not only their

effort

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

gift or talent.

songcheng619

Aug 25, 2023

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achive anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this messages?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is important to take risks in both personal and professional life. Do you think that risk taking advantages outweighs the disadvantages?

Nowadays, many employers think that social skills are as important as good qualifications for employing people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?