IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

many museums charge for admission while others are free. doyou think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweight the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #doyou #people #outweight
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A large number of
art
Use synonyms
 galleries allow the entrance of visitors through paid
tickets
Use synonyms
 but some
museums
Use synonyms
 offer free admission to individuals.
I
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 my opinion,
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 of setting
Fix the agreement mistake
charges
show examples
charge
Fix the agreement mistake
charges
show examples
Change preposition
for
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on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 entry
Change preposition
into
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
museums
Use synonyms
, outweigh its disadvantages.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
money
Use synonyms
 collected through
tickets
Use synonyms
 can be used for the development of
museums
Use synonyms
 in ample different ways. To elaborate,
money
Use synonyms
 saved from paid
tickets
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can be
further
Linking Words
 used to bring unique
art
Use synonyms
 pieces
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 galleries, which are costly and management alone cannot afford those without the contribution of people.
As a result
Linking Words
,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
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, historical paintings, scriptures,
tools
Correct word choice
and tools
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 from
past
Correct article usage
the past
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,
etecetera
Correct your spelling
etcetera
 can help research
students
Use synonyms
, who visit
museums
Use synonyms
 to gain vast knowledge about their history.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 spent by people on
tickets
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 can be used to provide facilities to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
Such
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 as
clean
Correct article usage
a clean
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 environment, food, water facilities, toilets, parking, and staff assistance.
For instance
Linking Words
, so many
museums
Use synonyms
 with charged
tickets
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, provide free books, magazines, photographs, and maps to children or to
students
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 to develop their interest towards
art
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 and history.
Also
Linking Words
,
money
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 given by people can be used to build movie rooms and artificial
art
Use synonyms
 objects to provide in-depth knowledge to individuals. Contrarily, applying fares
on
Change preposition
at
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entrance
Correct article usage
the entrance
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 can cause concern for some
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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.
For example
Linking Words
, poor
students
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, who cannot afford paid
tickets
Use synonyms
 cannot enjoy
leraning
Correct your spelling
learning
 opportunities provided by
museums
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
population
Correct article usage
a population
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 often
urge
Wrong verb form
urged
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 to get free entrance
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
museums
Use synonyms
. But
this
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
 not
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 all the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
, as
art
Use synonyms
 galleries can provide
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
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 to
students
Use synonyms
 who are financially weak.
Secondly
Linking Words
, on some specific days, there should be
minimum
Add an article
a minimum
show examples
 charge for admission. So that those
cannot
Correct pronoun usage
who cannot
show examples
 pay for
tickets
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 enjoy equal benefits.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I fervently believe that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 of charged
tickets
Use synonyms
 in
museums
Use synonyms
 hold value
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if the
money
Use synonyms
 is
further
Linking Words
 used for
welfare
Add an article
the welfare
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 of
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 and
upgarding
Correct your spelling
upgrading
regarding
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of pieces of
art
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by varindervarinder1996 on

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