Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is argued by some people that

music

plays a fundamental role in connecting communities together regardless of the discrepancies of cultures and ages. In my opinion, the phenomenon is reasonable. It is understandable that

music

brings countless advantageous benefits to individuals. First and foremost,

music

is so-called a language that can ably represent a person, especially their own

personalities

Fix the agreement mistake

personality

show examples

and characteristics. Indeed, should a person listen to one's piece of

music

, they may truly understand one's theme and vibe in the sense that they are one step closer to

establish

Wrong verb form

establishing

show examples

and

strengthen

Wrong verb form

strengthening

show examples

the spiritual connection between their associates. Take parents as a vivid example, American researchers reported that having

allowed

Wrong verb form

allowing

show examples

offspring

listen

Fix the infinitive

to listen

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to happy songs at the beginning of the day, not only do children become more energetic but adults

also

have a sense of happiness and productivity when observing their optimistic youngsters.

Additionally

music

also

has a remarkable effect on eliminating both language and culture barriers among global

citizen

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citizens

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. Optimistic sounds play an indispensable role in engendering the intercultural among countries. Indeed, because the current cultures are intertwined and linked closely, songs are viewed and listened to in all corners of the world.

This

is a contributory factor in spreading the native identity to others,

thus

, foreigners have opportunities to gain a more useful understanding of an exotic country thanks to the performance and expression of native singers. As is self-evident, the

music

concerts of Taylor Swift had attracted numerous worldwide youngsters to gather to enjoy a chilling atmosphere and they

also

expand

Wrong verb form

expanded

show examples

their circle of international friends without any separate barriers but with a similar

music

style.

Hence

, they are able to communicate, immerse into the bustling rhythms and exchange the nation's

specialties

Change the spelling

specialities

show examples

with others In conclusion, it is undeniable that the essence of

music

is bringing individuals closer so

this

is the reason why I totally agree with

this

context

Submitted by ngotruongminhmap2006 on Sat Aug 26 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural diversity
harmony
integration
bridging gaps
foster
ignite
embrace
communicate
celebrate
appreciate
inclusivity
universal language
emotional resonance
shared experiences
intercultural dialogue
intergenerational connections
cultural exchange
catalyst

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Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

The natural resources, such as oil, forests, and fresh water, are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve these problems?