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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

writing One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is why people sleep less than they used to in the past. It is undeniable that sleep has become an essential part of our life

People
Use synonyms
 nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past.What do you think
reason
Add an article
the reason
show examples
 behind
this
Linking Words
?What are the effects on individuals and
people
Use synonyms
 around them? So sleep,sleeping,slept .Why do
people
Use synonyms
 sleep?
Are
Verb problem
Do
show examples
 they really need to sleep every
day
Use synonyms
 for eight
Use synonyms
hours-ten
Correct your spelling
hours or ten
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
? Sleeping -we ,all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 need it.Our brain
something
Add a missing verb
is something
show examples
 special and wonderful,
sleeping
Correct word choice
and sleeping
show examples
 is one of part
Linking Words
this wonder
Fix the agreement mistake
these wonders
show examples
.When we do
this
Linking Words
 -we give our brains and body to relax.
However
Linking Words
 during rest mind
continue
Correct subject-verb agreement
continues
show examples
 work,but in
passive
Correct article usage
a passive
show examples
 form passing to
subconscious
Add an article
the subconscious
show examples
. It
clean
Change the verb form
cleans
show examples
 no need
information
Change preposition
for information
show examples
 and rereads
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
day
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will look at examine factors responsible for
problem
Add an article
the problem
show examples
 of sleeping.One of the main causes of
this
Linking Words
 fact
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 mindfully choose sleepless nights to healthy doze. Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
subjected
Add a missing verb
are subjected
show examples
 to what they see,
Correct word choice
and heard
show examples
heard
Wrong verb form
hear
show examples
,
live
Correct word choice
and live
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 millions ,billions
information
Change preposition
of information
show examples
 in the
day
Use synonyms
.World
so
Add a missing verb
is so
show examples
 huge and fast.Now
people
Use synonyms
 try to manage everything.They want
open
Fix the infinitive
to open
show examples
business
Correct article usage
a business
show examples
,be
teacher
Correct article usage
a teacher
show examples
,jump from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Everest,fly to
cosmos
Correct article usage
the cosmos
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and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc. And sleep doesn’t fit into
this
Linking Words
.It is a result of
surprising
Add an article
the surprising
a surprising
show examples
 majority of
people
Use synonyms
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 “live” to slumber quote the phrase “you’ll sleep in your coffin”. Having weighed everything mentioned up,we can come to a consolation that ,sure ,we have big problems with
nap
Fix the agreement mistake
naps
show examples
, and
likewise
Linking Words
 with health. Lack of sleep
destroy
Change the verb form
destroys
show examples
 our body plus grey matter.
People
Use synonyms
start
Add the particle
start to
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 go crazy.Rest could not digest information ,
do
Correct word choice
or do
show examples
 basic things like understand human speech .
People
Use synonyms
 do experiments with doze,try different ways to
sleeping
Wrong verb form
sleep
show examples
,like
sleep
Wrong verb form
sleeping
show examples
 during
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 in small parts
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 1-2
hours
Use synonyms
 ,
sleep
Wrong verb form
sleeping
show examples
 3
hours
Use synonyms
 in
daytime
Correct article usage
the daytime
show examples
 and etc.But we have standard old,good,normal times of
dream
Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
show examples
.For
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 7-8
hours
Use synonyms
,for women 9-10.
Do
Verb problem
Take
show examples
 care of your health,
sleep
Correct word choice
and sleep
show examples
!Sleep is good,useful,wonder,perfect and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
free!!! Use
this
Linking Words
!

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity and flow of your ideas by organizing them into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain a main idea and supporting details.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task. You need to discuss both reasons for reduced sleep and its effects more comprehensively.
task achievement
Add relevant examples to support your points. Specific examples can enhance the clarity and persuasiveness of your essay.
task achievement
You have a strong introduction that sets the stage for your discussion on sleep.
task achievement
Your conclusion emphasizes the importance of sleep, which is a positive takeaway for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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