IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

More and more people are using computer and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need for printed books, magazines and newspapers on paper. To what extent do y ou agree or disagree?

#people #computer #devices #access #information #books #magazines #newspapers #paper #ou
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Nowadays with global ,
development
Add a comma
development,
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 there are many shifts in
style
Correct article usage
the style
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 of life As, a result many people prefer using computers and electrical devices to find information ,I strongly agree with
this
 opinion and I will more explore in
this
 essay. To find information today be easier and cosy with using technology with relevant devices like
,
Remove the comma
apply
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computer ,smartphone ,ac.. for several reasons,first and most for studying that makes students do their search fast with it ,
Moreover
, there are a lot of
channel
Change to a plural noun
channels
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 with a variety of content with a different way of explaining knowledge ,
furthermore
 ,The visual content easier to learn and remember, Asol, sometimes finding the books you need is very difficult and needs time and money .
On the other hand
 ,a lot of individuals like old materials like newspaper and magazine because
that is
 a fulfilling life ,Another cause that increase focus and understanding ,especially old people because
that is
 part of their life , In conclusion, both opinion has light points but iI strongly with people who use devices to research information because I believe
that is
 every new update in it .
Submitted by Ssaraan2017 on

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task response
Your essay demonstrates a limited ability to address the task. There is a lack of clear position and supporting arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is partially clear, but the introduction and conclusion need improvement. Work on organizing your ideas more coherently and cohesively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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