Music play an important role in society, others think it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#music #role #society #form #entertainment #individuals

People

have differing views with regard to the question of how

music

affects our lives.

While

some argue that

music

is just a part of entertainment, I believe the advantages of it can go far beyond Admittedly, there is good reason to say that

music

is an important part.

To begin

with,

music

helps suffer with health problems.

For instance

, I had a plan to die a year ago. I got psychosis and thought about suicide many times. It was a terrible time for me and I could not

forget

Correct pronoun usage

itforget

show examples

However

, at that time,

music

saved my life. I found out that listening to

music

was one of the strategies to help me feel better. I did not have any thoughts about disappearing.

Music

is a method

that is

suitable for many

people

who are in difficult circumstances There is

also

a compelling reason to argue why

music

is not just a form of entertainment.

Music

can

also

contribute to our income.

Producers

in one of the most popular jobs nowadays. If they can compose a new song with catchy rhythms, they can earn a great deal of money from that song. A good example is that many new

producers

have uploaded their songs on social media. Many

people

are in love with them and these songs becoming more and more popular.

Therefore

producers

can get money from the views of their songs or from cooperation invitations of other

producers

In conclusion,

while

there are some arguments about the need for

music

. I believe

music

is not only a part of entertaining but

also

a treatment and a work for many

people

Submitted by chi on Sat Aug 26 2023

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural tool
shared identity
cognitive development
creativity
mental health
music therapy
chronic pain
entertainment value
personal escape
cultural background

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Music play an important role in society, others think it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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