Music play an important role in society, others think it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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People
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have differing views with regard to the question of how
music
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affects our lives.
While
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some argue that
music
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is just a part of entertainment, I believe the advantages of it can go far beyond Admittedly, there is good reason to say that
music
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is an important part.
To begin
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with,
music
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helps suffer with health problems.
For instance
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, I had a plan to die a year ago. I got psychosis and thought about suicide many times. It was a terrible time for me and I could not
forget
Correct pronoun usage
itforget

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
.
However
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, at that time,
music
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saved my life. I found out that listening to
music
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was one of the strategies to help me feel better. I did not have any thoughts about disappearing.
Music
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is a method
that is
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suitable for many
people
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who are in difficult circumstances There is
also
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a compelling reason to argue why
music
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is not just a form of entertainment.
Music
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can
also
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contribute to our income.
Producers
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in one of the most popular jobs nowadays. If they can compose a new song with catchy rhythms, they can earn a great deal of money from that song. A good example is that many new
producers
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have uploaded their songs on social media. Many
people
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are in love with them and these songs becoming more and more popular.
Therefore
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,
producers
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can get money from the views of their songs or from cooperation invitations of other
producers
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In conclusion,
while
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

there are some arguments about the need for
music
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. I believe
music
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is not only a part of entertaining but
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a treatment and a work for many
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural tool
  • shared identity
  • cognitive development
  • creativity
  • mental health
  • music therapy
  • chronic pain
  • entertainment value
  • personal escape
  • cultural background
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