The diagram shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane

The diagram shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane
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The provided diagram depicts the way in which
sugar
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is produced from
sugar
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cans
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.
Overall
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, there are 7 stages in the process, beginning with grown
sugar
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cans
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and ending with prepared
sugar
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which is ready to consume. The
sugar
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cans
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serve as the raw material in the process.
Thus
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, these
sugar
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cans
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are cultivated for 12 to 18 months so as to become ready to harvest.
After
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this
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period, these
sugar
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cans
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are harvested by machines and farmers and
then
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loaded in factories.
Next,
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the
sugar
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cans
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undergo a crushing process. In
this
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phase, the
sugar
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cans
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turn to
juice
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. Afterwards,
this
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juice
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is purified by a limestone filter which results in prepared
juice
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for the heating section. In the subsequent stage,
this
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juice
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is heated by an evaporator and becomes syrup.
Then
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, a centrifuge separates
sugar
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crystals from syrup.
Finally
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, These
sugar
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crystals become dry and cold which is the eventual
sugar
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.
Submitted by fatemeh.gh9797 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, cans, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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