The chart below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

The chart below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts illustrate the proportion of age ranges of
people
Use synonyms
who live in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and 2050. These ages
divided
Add a missing verb
are divided
show examples
into 3 sections. From a cursory glance, it is readily apparent that Yemen’s youngest age group was the highest percentage in 2000,
however
Linking Words
, the number of
middle aged
Add a hyphen
middle-aged
show examples
people
Use synonyms
showed a rise.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
people
Use synonyms
who are between 15 and 59
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
olds
Correct your spelling
old
show examples
had the
greates
Correct your spelling
greatest
great
rates at the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
in Italy.
Whereas
Linking Words
, it showed a decline and the oldest age group displayed
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
change.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in Yemen,
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
and
middle aged
Add a hyphen
middle-aged
show examples
population had almost the same percentages at the beginning. Kids who
under
Add a missing verb
were under
show examples
14 years old were more than half and adults were less than 50% in 2000. These numbers will change and adults reach almost 57.3%. Meanwhile, elderly
people
Use synonyms
who
older
Add a missing verb
are older
show examples
than 60
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
olds
Correct your spelling
old
show examples
showed a minimal decrease. In Italy,
mid-aged
Correct your spelling
middle-aged
show examples
women and men were more than 60% in 2000.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
will reduce by almost 20%. At the same time, the
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
of old folks will jump from 24.1% to 42.3%. At the same instant, the youngest humanity’s proportion will go down.
Submitted by sezencizmecigil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • age demographics
  • age structure
  • population distribution
  • youthful population
  • ageing population
  • life expectancy
  • birth rate
  • demographic shift
  • population projection
  • median age
  • dependents
  • working-age population
  • elderly dependents
  • geriatric
  • fertility rate
  • migration
  • demographic trends
  • baby boomers
  • demographic dividend
  • population pyramid
What to do next:
Look at other essays: