IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The use of mobile phone in public places is an antisocial as smoking . Smoking is banned in certain places , so mobile phones should be banned in same way . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#phone #places #phones
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The use of mobilise
phones
Use synonyms
 has increased over time. Some
people
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 believe telephones should be banned from public spaces in the same way as smoking.
This
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 essay will discuss why I completely agree with that because reduces social interactions and can develop an
addiction
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 to screen.
To begin
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 with, social media seems to be a new way of interaction between
people
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 which affects connections in person and communication
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face-to-faceface
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
 in public places. The main reason for
that is
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people
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 prefer to speak over Facebook or WhatsApp
instead
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 of meeting
face
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 to
face
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 and communicating with each other which can make
people
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 feel isolated.
This
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 has a negative impact on the new generation because they do not know how to interact in person with peers.
For instance
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, in New York
people
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 spend at least 3 hours on their
phones
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, and do not speak
face
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 to
face
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.
Furthermore
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, mobile phone screens can cause
addiction
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 because liberate dopamine in our brains which is related to satisfaction and happiness. For
this
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 our brain interpretation of spending time outdoors we will need to be connected to our
phones
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 reducing the communication between family and friends.
For
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this
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 reason,
this
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 can have a negative impact because we are spending more time on our
phones
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instead
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 of seeing our friends or family.
For example
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, some study shows screen can cause
addiction
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 in 80 per cent of the population which decrease social interaction between family and friends. In conclusion,
phones
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 are becoming popular but their use in outdoor spaces should be regulated and sometimes banned in the same way as smoking.
Moreover
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, the phone is reducing social interaction and can cause
addiction
Use synonyms
 which
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the main reason why should be banned from public places.
Submitted by usoncata on

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