Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

A group of
people
believe that
music
,
art
, and
drama
have significant effects on children in their early lives. To make them culturally sound and for their recreational purposes, the forms of creativity have
contributions
Replace the word
contributed
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
human life. I agree with the importance of learning skills in
music
,
art
, and
drama
. From the lens of cultural development, every person should learn native
music
,
art
, and
drama
at an early age. Each nation has its own cultural history and beauty.
Although
society itself is a cultural institution, it has a built-in system to deliver its attributes to generations.
However
, learning cultural forms intentionally after birth makes infants affluent in later life.
For example
, the tribal communities in Africa teach their offspring traditional
music
,
art
, and
drama
.
Secondly
,
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
recreation, no other great way could be found to enjoy leisure time without
music
,
art
, and
drama
. Musicians love to play
music
, artists always want to dive into the arts, and an actor’s best place is the stage where he or she plays
drama
. It has both views: general
people
enjoy their pleasure time using sensational organs (eye, ear, and listening).
On the other hand
,
performers
Change noun form
performers'
performer's
show examples
most valuable time is when they perform.
For example
, in Asia,
people
love to listen to classical
music
; in France, 
people
place emphasis on
art
. In conclusion, the urgency of teaching school students skills in
music
,
art
, and
drama
cannot be denied. It improves their quality of life and enhances their personalities as well.
Furthermore
, it should be included in the state’s education policy.
Submitted by ahamedzamil15 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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