IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #technology #man
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Technology
Use synonyms
 has increased among certain demographics of society. These
people
Use synonyms
 claim that the trend is making a man more social as
such
Linking Words
 is beneficial.
However
Linking Words
, arising issues seem to continuously loom over these prospects, which will be discussed below, and I will offer my view on whether it the acceptable or not.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
technology
Use synonyms
 helps to communicate with others easily.
Thus
Linking Words
, it has made communication just a button away, with a click of a button,
people
Use synonyms
 can make calls, send emails,faxes and do a lot of work with the help of social
media
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can social interaction with their community.
For instance
Linking Words
, if they relation live far away, they can talk with them every day with the help of
technology
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
media
Use synonyms
 is beneficial for
people
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 sophisticated world, more
people
Use synonyms
 are in poor concentration by over usage of the
media
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it encourages a shorter attention span with short punchy
media
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as TikTok and Instagram. There have been some records, present day more students are not focusing on studies at schools and universities by using social
media
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, they are suffering from a lot of education sicknesses
such
Linking Words
 as depression and stress.
Due to
Linking Words
 that, short attention spans can affect them by not focusing on detail
as well as
Linking Words
 poor performance in the community.
To conclude
Linking Words
, despite the benefits, the poor concentration of the public trumps communication with faraway
people
Use synonyms
 in a milestone. In my opinion,
technology
Use synonyms
 has the benefit of socialising with others
however
Linking Words
, it leads to low interaction with the community.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the usage of
technology
Use synonyms
 makes a man unsociable.1
Submitted by krishmahendran19 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social interaction
  • connect
  • communicate
  • video conferencing
  • stay in touch
  • online communities
  • forums
  • like-minded individuals
  • global communication
  • collaboration
  • access to information
  • knowledge
  • bridge the gap
  • social isolation
  • detachment
  • face-to-face communication
  • genuine human connection
  • maintain
  • real-life interactions
  • balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: