More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reason for this? What are the solutions?

#people #drinks #reason

Today in

this

fast life humans are prone to take supplements and other sources from which they can get energy

Also

there are numerous amount of

drinks

available in the market that can be drunk and get energy from and most of it is sweet

as a result

there are a lot of people who are addicted to

such

kinds of drink

due to

various reasons.

This

essay intends to discuss the reasons and give solutions for the same.

To begin

, the sugary taste is liked by all and

therefore

the companies add the maximum amount of sweetener in all

drinks

they manufacture.It is said that sugar can give energy and

hence

drinking a glass of it can make you feel energetic,

Initially

there were

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

drinks

in the market

and

Correct word choice

that

show examples

had two tastes namely tangy and sweet.Gradually,

due to

high ,demand the companies started making different sorts of

drinks

and juices by adding preservatives and sweetness which were accepted by every individual

due to

their taste.

For instance

,there were only a few beverages like Coke and Fanta, but now there are many more options. On the other ,hand these fizzy

drinks

have a high amount of additives which are harmful if consumed on a daily basis so there should be various alternatives that can be taken into account that prove less damaging.Fresh and homemade

drinks

such

as lemonade, and juices have less or negligible amounts of sugar content.Try to avoid all sorts of canned juices and soft

drinks-

Fix the agreement mistake

drinks and drinks

show examples

drinks

and switch to raw and natural fluids. To summarise, where everything is not natural and has more harmful effects in future when consumed regularly, move towards raw and garden fresh which will have no adverse effects.

Submitted by palshah87 on Sun Aug 27 2023

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task response

The essay lacks a clear and comprehensive response to the task question. The ideas are not fully developed or relevant to the topic.

coherence and cohesion

The coherence and cohesion are adequate, with some logical structure and supported main points. However, the introduction and conclusion need improvement to better address the task question.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reason for this? What are the solutions?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development?

Topic: Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.