Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. What is your opinion?

#television #life #sense #community #people

As television has gained unprecedented popularity, many people spend a few hours a day watching

programs. Wasting an excessive amount of

time

each day watching

could surely throw a

person

’s

life

off balance. Neglecting

this

issue not only does affect the individual’s family and social

life

but

also

many other aspects of their well-being. First of all, people who don’t keep an eye on their

usage are routinely wasting

time

that could

otherwise

be spent on other tasks. Surely, a

person

who spends their free

time

in front of the

has fewer chances for social interactions. Considering the fact that humans are social animals,

this

isolation could take a heavy toll on the mental health of the individual.

Also

, as whole families spend their

time

together watching

shows, they are missing out on an excellent

time

to be bonding with each other.

As a result

of these effects,

such

person

would not only have trouble with the number of their social connections but

also

with the quality and depth of their relationships.

Additionally

this

wasted

time

could be spent on a variety of hobbies and sports. Spending your

time

on a hobby or sport could lead to your

further

development and interest in that particular pastime.

In contrast

, watching

every day makes

life

exhaustingly boring.

Secondly

, since most people spend all of their working hours indoors, we should endeavour to get fresh air as much as we can. Passing our leisure

time

by watching

also

makes us stay indoors for a big portion of our free

time

Consequently

, spending too much

time

in front of the

also

affects how much a

person

receives fresh air and direct sunlight. These factors are of the utmost importance in a

person

’s mental and physical well-being as they play an essential role in the balance of the hormonal system. In conclusion, I think that uncontrolled usage of

can definitely dwarf a

person

's social

life

and

consequently

be dangerous to their well-being. I suggest that everybody decides how much they would like to be spending in front of the

beforehand, and manage their leisure

time

accordingly

Submitted by amin.gerami on Sun Aug 27 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

362 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages?

People’s lives are now surrounded by advertisements. This affects what people consider important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?