IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some people think that public libraries are no longer necessary due to the availability of digital information. To what extent do you agree or disagree with given statement?

#people #libraries #availability #information
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Nowadays, the learning patterns of young ones have shifted
due to
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 the availability of Internet
sources
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. Many people present their view that public
libraries
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 are no longer required because of the easy access to digital
sources
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 of
study
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.
However
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, in my opinion, alternative
sources
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 are vital for
overall
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 growth but I disagree that city
libraries
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 are no longer needed. The primary reason why the masses believe city
libraries
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 are no longer required is because easy access
as well as
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 gathering digital
sources
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 for the
study
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 is less time-consuming. Data can be collected from the internet with just a few clicks, and pupils can save their crucial time.
Thus
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, time saved can be devoted towards their homework
as well as
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 some leisure
activities
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.
However
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, these benefits must be acknowledged but the downsides of
this
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 way of gathering data are greater. One of the principal reasons for opposing
this
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 notion is because, by collecting data associated with digital
sources
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 learners will lack the
study
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 environment
libraries
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 provide them. The kind of silence in public
libraries
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 gives an edge to pupils to concentrate on their
study
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 is something digital information lacks. learning in
libraries
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,
therefore
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 can enhance the
overall
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 understanding of
study
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 material, and students can attain higher marks in their exams.
Furthermore
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, community benefits are available in the city
libraries
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 that cannot yield from digital
sources
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. Public
libraries
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 host various
activities
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such
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 as
,
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apply
show examples
 hosting educational workshops, creating reading groups, and organizing distinct social
activities
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. Participating in these
activities
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 can develop the mindset of pupils because of the companionship and guidance provided in these group
activities
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.
Thus
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, leading them towards understanding of
study
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 concept thoroughly
as well as
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 creating a certain degree of social awareness. In conclusion,
Although
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 internet
sources
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 are considered vital for accessing information rapidly , I believe public
libraries
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 are still required by students because of the
study
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 environment yields in public
libraries
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 and the chance offered in engaging various
activities
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 which are not available in digital information
sources
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.
Submitted by deep4u4all1 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow of ideas. While the main points are well-presented, the transitions between paragraphs can be smoother to enhance overall coherence.
task achievement
Aim to provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Including real-life instances or statistics can make your points more compelling and support your arguments better.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion. This is essential for a high-scoring IELTS essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic well by discussing both the advantages of digital sources and the importance of public libraries. This balanced approach demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • availability of digital information
  • community benefits
  • educational workshops
  • reading groups
  • social activities
  • access to physical resources
  • bridge the digital divide
  • quiet and conducive environment
  • expert guidance
  • research and information sourcing
  • preserve local history
  • curate quality and credible resources
  • lack reliability and accuracy
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