IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

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In recent years, we obviously see that the
people
Use synonyms
 who live in the
cities
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 have more opportunities
from
Change preposition
for
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 increasing
standard
Correct pronoun usage
their standard
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 of living than
people
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 who live far away.
As a result
Linking Words
, problems
such
Linking Words
 as inequality in the economy and
society
Use synonyms
 will occur. To alleviate these problems, we need the government to equally improve
income
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 distribution to rural
areas
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. Normally, imbalance improving in
cities
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 and rural
areas
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lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to
significant
Add an article
a significant
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 disparity in the economy and
society
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. Individuals in rural
areas
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 who seek for better life will migrate to the
cities
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 to do
the
Correct article usage
apply
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task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 can get higher
income
Use synonyms
 in order to improve their well-being. When the
cities
Use synonyms
 have increased in population density, it will be followed by rising pollution and environmental impact.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in rural
areas
Use synonyms
 mostly
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of educated
people
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
people
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 who are educated mostly
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
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 to live in the
cities
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which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are more comfortable.
This
Linking Words
 situation leads to transferring knowledge and the chance to develop rural
areas
Use synonyms
 becoming more difficult.
However
Linking Words
, the problems can be mitigated by both
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 and private sectors to emphasize
the
Correct article usage
an
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 egalitarian
society
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. The government needs to develop
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
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 to enhance
income
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 distribution for
rising
Verb problem
increasing
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 the opportunity of individuals in rural
areas
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 to have sufficient
income
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. Private
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
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 can help to develop volunteer programs to educate children in rural
areas
Use synonyms
 in order to have enough wisdom to improve their
areas
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. In conclusion, inclining in
standard
Add an article
the standard
a standard
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 of living tends to have more benefit to
people
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 who live in
cities
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 and has a tendency to raise the problem of inequality in the economy and
society
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, we can mitigate
this
Linking Words
 situation by
collaboration
Replace the word
collaborating
show examples
 between government and private sectors to improve the well-being of
people
Use synonyms
 in all
areas
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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