Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that more refugees should be allowed by rich nations and help them with something to eat and a place to live.

This

essay totally agrees with that statement because human lives can be saved and these men and women can help in the country's economy. One reason for extra refugees must be accepted is that a human life can be saved because of

this

act. Millions of people have to sacrifice their homes especially because of war and they seek help from other countries to give them a home and food to eat to survive.

For example

, the US is accepting additional runaway people every year to save them from dying in war or from hunger.

This

act of kindness makes humanity alive.

Furthermore

, their lives are as important as other humans living on

this

planet which should be saved at all costs. The second reason is the development of the nation by increasing the amount of workforce in the market. Every individual who is seeking help wants to be saved and they can do whatever it takes, it doesn't matter if it is a small job, and they

also

work on low wages which not only helps in inflation but

also

decreases demand for labour in the market.

For example

, In Canada each year demand for small professions like electricians and plumbers is tackled by helping more people from affected areas.

To conclude

, every country should focus on saving human lives rather than watching them die which is not humanity,

also

it helps their economy's growth by providing cheap labour in the country.

Submitted by MK on Thu Aug 29 2024

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task achievement

Your essay is well-organized and your ideas are clear. However, consider adding a few more examples to support your points more robustly.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. A more varied use of cohesive devices could also improve coherence.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly presents the main argument of the essay.

supported main points

The essay is succinct and manages to cover significant points within a short span, which is effective.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Refugees
Asylum seekers
Humanitarian aid
Integration
Multiculturalism
Economic impact
Public services
International law
Conventions relating to the status of refugees
Labor market
Cultural enrichment
Burden-sharing
Resettlement programs
Host country
Border security
Comprehensive policy

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Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugat, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that individuals should change jobs during their working life often while others believe that doing the same job has advantages to individuals, companies, and society.

As technology helps to gain access to information, fact teaching should be removed and school should focus on developing skills and talents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.