Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #refugees #assistance #food

It is argued that more refugees should be allowed by rich nations and help them with something to eat and a place to live.

This

essay totally agrees with that statement because human lives can be saved and these men and women can help in the country's economy. One reason for extra refugees must be accepted is that a human life can be saved because of

this

act. Millions of people have to sacrifice their homes especially because of war and they seek help from other countries to give them a home and food to eat to survive.

For example

, the US is accepting additional runaway people every year to save them from dying in war or from hunger.

This

act of kindness makes humanity alive.

Furthermore

, their lives are as important as other humans living on

this

planet which should be saved at all costs. The second reason is the development of the nation by increasing the amount of workforce in the market. Every individual who is seeking help wants to be saved and they can do whatever it takes, it doesn't matter if it is a small job, and they

also

work on low wages which not only helps in inflation but

also

decreases demand for labour in the market.

For example

, In Canada each year demand for small professions like electricians and plumbers is tackled by helping more people from affected areas.

To conclude

, every country should focus on saving human lives rather than watching them die which is not humanity,

also

it helps their economy's growth by providing cheap labour in the country.

Submitted by MK on Thu Aug 29 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay is well-organized and your ideas are clear. However, consider adding a few more examples to support your points more robustly.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. A more varied use of cohesive devices could also improve coherence.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly presents the main argument of the essay.

supported main points

The essay is succinct and manages to cover significant points within a short span, which is effective.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

Refugees
Asylum seekers
Humanitarian aid
Integration
Multiculturalism
Economic impact
Public services
International law
Conventions relating to the status of refugees
Labor market
Cultural enrichment
Burden-sharing
Resettlement programs
Host country
Border security
Comprehensive policy

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
8/1 Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, more people regard humans should protect environment by reducing daily waste. Therefore, some believe that manufacturing industry and supermarkets are responsible to decrease the wrapping of products, others think consumers could prevent waste by avoid buying overwrapping products. The following content will outline both stances and explain my opinion.
8
band
You recently received a letter from a friend asking for your advice on whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/ she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: say why she will not enjoy going to college explain why getting a job is a good idea Suggest the type of job that would be suitable.
I'm writing to let you know how excited I am that you are going to be able to work, now that you have graduated in commerce. I know you have the choice of studying further, but I would advise you to pick up a job in finance as a career.
5
band
Some peole believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
These days, tourism industries indeed play a crucial role in society. However, some believe that culture will be ruined when nations gain revenue from tourism while others say that tourism is the only strategy to protect our culture. This essay will discuss both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons.
5
band
Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors to take part in major competitions such as Olympic Games or football World Cup. Some people say that it would be better to spend this money encouraging children to take up sports from a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
It is important to consider how to use money to develop countries' career of sports. Some people believe there must be some necessity spending money on preparing for vital competitions, while others argue that it must be a better way to spend money on kids to motivate them to do more sports. I think both of these aims are great, but money on them should be used wisely and in reasonable proportion.
5.5
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are applying for a job and need a letter of reference from someone who knew you when you were at school. Write a letter to one of your old teachers asking for a reference. In your letter: say what job you have applied for explain why you want this job suggest what information the teacher should include Write at least 150 words.
I am writing to obtain a letter of reference from you, as I am applying for a job at a research centre. The application process requires a letter of recommendation from a professor at the last academic institution that the applicant attended.

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

8/1 Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some peole believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.