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Band 8

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #refugees #assistance #food
It is argued that more refugees should be allowed by rich nations and help them with something to eat and a place to live.
This
 essay totally agrees with that statement because human lives can be saved and these men and women can help in the country's economy. One reason for extra refugees must be accepted is that a human life can be saved because of
this
 act. Millions of people have to sacrifice their homes especially because of war and they seek help from other countries to give them a home and food to eat to survive.
For example
, the US is accepting additional runaway people every year to save them from dying in war or from hunger.
This
 act of kindness makes humanity alive.
Furthermore
, their lives are as important as other humans living on
this
 planet which should be saved at all costs. The second reason is the development of the nation by increasing the amount of workforce in the market. Every individual who is seeking help wants to be saved and they can do whatever it takes, it doesn't matter if it is a small job, and they
also
 work on low wages which not only helps in inflation but
also
 decreases demand for labour in the market.
For example
, In Canada each year demand for small professions like electricians and plumbers is tackled by helping more people from affected areas.
To conclude
, every country should focus on saving human lives rather than watching them die which is not humanity,
also
 it helps their economy's growth by providing cheap labour in the country.
Submitted by MK on

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task achievement
Your essay is well-organized and your ideas are clear. However, consider adding a few more examples to support your points more robustly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. A more varied use of cohesive devices could also improve coherence.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly presents the main argument of the essay.
supported main points
The essay is succinct and manages to cover significant points within a short span, which is effective.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Refugees
  • Asylum seekers
  • Humanitarian aid
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Economic impact
  • Public services
  • International law
  • Conventions relating to the status of refugees
  • Labor market
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Burden-sharing
  • Resettlement programs
  • Host country
  • Border security
  • Comprehensive policy
What to do next:
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