IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#feel #governments #prioritize #healthcare #areas
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Governments
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 play a crucial role in shaping the progress of a nation, and it is often debated whether
healthcare
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 should be prioritized over other essential areas.
While
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healthcare
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 is undeniably important, I disagree with the notion that it should be the sole focus of government attention. A well-rounded approach, encompassing economics, society, and
education
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, is necessary to drive a country forward. Economic stability serves as the foundation for national development. Focusing primarily on
healthcare
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 could neglect the importance of a robust
economy
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. Economic growth generates revenue through taxation, which can
then
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 be allocated to vital sectors
such
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 as
healthcare
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. A strong
economy
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also
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 creates job opportunities, reducing unemployment and supporting social welfare programs. By nurturing a flourishing economic environment,
governments
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 can ensure a sustainable flow of resources for
healthcare
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 and other critical needs.
Education
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, as the bedrock of human capital, cannot be overlooked. A knowledgeable and skilled population contributes to innovation, productivity, and
overall
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 national progress. By investing in
education
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,
governments
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 empower individuals to contribute effectively to the workforce and society.
Furthermore
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, an educated population understands the significance of health, leading to better lifestyle choices and the reduction of
healthcare
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 burdens in the long run.
While
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healthcare
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 is undoubtedly important for the well-being of citizens, it should not be prioritized at the expense of other essential areas like the
economy
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 and
education
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. Striking a balance among these sectors is crucial for holistic national development. A strong
economy
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 generates the resources needed for
healthcare
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, and
education
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 empowers individuals to make informed decisions about their health. By recognizing the interconnectedness of these aspects,
governments
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 can create a thriving nation where the
overall
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 welfare of its citizens is maximized. In conclusion,
governments
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 should not prioritize
healthcare
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 exclusively over other crucial areas. A multifaceted approach that includes a strong
economy
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, quality
education
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, and comprehensive
healthcare
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 is essential for driving a country's development. Balancing these priorities ensures a well-rounded and sustainable future for the nation and its citizens.
Submitted by nattaporn.vibha on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal healthcare
  • preventive medicine
  • public health infrastructure
  • social determinants of health
  • fiscal allocation
  • government expenditure
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • life expectancy
  • pandemic preparedness
  • health equity
  • social safety net
  • holistic approach
  • non-communicable diseases
  • cross-sector collaboration
  • socioeconomic status
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