IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

#government #money #railways #roads
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I was born and raised in a small city in Mazandaran which is called Babolsar,
despite
Capitalize word
Despite
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 the fact that it’s a small city, my hometown is famous simply because of its sand beaches and amazing river
that
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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crosses
of
Change preposition
apply
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the city. The first thing
comes
Correct pronoun usage
that comes
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 to mind is not as crowded as other cities in Mazandaran and
on the other hand
Linking Words
 , because of its sea and
river
Add a comma
,river
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 you will be witnessed of
expectacaular
Correct your spelling
spectacular
scene
Fix the agreement mistake
scenes
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 in every season.
Although
Linking Words
 I am too busy
of
Change preposition
with
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 my
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 these days , I am trying to make plans with my wife to experience new things which
includes
Change the verb form
include
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 new malls, restaurant, and even new foods. We both are foody and willing to taste different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of foods. Well in actual fact, if I think about it,
manage
Wrong verb form
managing
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time
Use synonyms
 and dividing it among
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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, hobbies and my responsibility as a husband
its
Correct your spelling
is
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breath taking
Correct your spelling
breathtaking
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 for me these days since I am occupied by my job most of the
time
Use synonyms
 and
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
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 I am
tiered
Correct your spelling
tired
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 most
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
time
Use synonyms
. So all in all my answer would have to be no,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 not easy for me. If I want to answer
this
Linking Words
 question, I would say a little about my job. I have
management
Add an article
a management
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 title in one of the biggest
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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, and because of
that
Add a comma
,that
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 I have too many
responcibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 which I have to attend
.
Change preposition
to.
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 Well
to
Add the comma(s)
,to
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 be honest, during work hours I always lose
time
Use synonyms
 and
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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 shocked every
time
Use synonyms
 I watch
a
Correct article usage
the
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 clock, In
fact
Add a comma
,fact
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 it is hard to allocate
time
Use synonyms
. Of
course
Add a comma
,course
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 I’d have to say that I’m not so keen on being busy. To be precise, I really can’t separate
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my work life and my
after work
Add a hyphen
after-work
show examples
 life. If I had more
time
Use synonyms
, I would spend more quality
time
Use synonyms
 with my wife and our mutual friends .
Submitted by sayadnayim.m on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: