IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to. How true is this statement? What can tourists do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environments? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience

#people #tourism #effects #countries #travel #tourists #cultures #environments
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Certain individuals argue that
tourism
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 has a lot of negative
effects
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 on the nations that people travel to. Personally, I agree that
tourism
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 can have both negative and positive impacts on the host
countries
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. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate on these
effects
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.
To begin
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 with,
tourism
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 has some negative aspects. Some visitors go to other
countries
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 and do bad acting.
For example
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, when they go to popular places, some people create graffiti and ruin that place.
Moreover
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, certain individuals do not care about trash and throw it out anywhere which leads to environmental pollution. But,
in contrast
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, some
countries
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 rely on
tourists
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 heavily so it has positive
effects
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 on their
countries
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.
For instance
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, Thailand and Maldves' economic systems almost consist of
tourism
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 so it is a crucial thing for them.
In addition
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, during the COVID-19 pandemic period, most
tourists
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 could not go to these
countries
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 and
consequently
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, their economic system almost collapsed. So, even if
tourism
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 has a negative
effect
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, they will accept
tourists
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.
On the other hand
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, there are some things
tourists
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 can do to reduce the harmful
effects
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.
First,
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visitors should not throw out trash anywhere, find a bin and
then
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 throw it out.
Secondly
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, they must respect their culture because we are just visitors and they have their own culture.
Finally
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, we try to choose a car using electricity so we can preserve our environment. So, if we act considerately, we can live better with nature which leads to a reduction in global warming. In conclusion,
tourism
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 is a double-edged sword. Depending on the nation's situation it has a good
effect
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 or negative
effect
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 on their
countries
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, but we should follow their rules and act nice and kind, it will create a good
effect
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 not only for all the nations but
also
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 for our future.
Submitted by livewire53 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay covers both the positive and negative impacts of tourism, which is good. However, the introduction and conclusion should be more comprehensive. Ensure that your points are relevant and specific to the topic to improve task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and organization. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed, and the main points need better support and elaboration to enhance overall coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource
Your use of vocabulary and language is adequate, but there's still room for improvement. Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and fluently.
Grammatical Range
Your essay displays a basic control of grammar and sentence structure. However, you can improve by using a variety of sentence structures and more accurate grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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