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Band 7

Governments spend millions of dollars each year on their space programmes. Most recently, Mars is the focus of scientists attention. Some people think this money would be better spent on dealing with problems closer to home. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own Knowledge or experience.

#governments #millions #dollars #year #space #programmes #focus #scientists #attention #people #money #home
Nowadays, space research is very viral and lots of countries even the poor ones intend to spend a large amount of money on their programme related to
this
 field. Actually, I am not a big fan of
this
 process and blame it , especially for those governments who have enormous vital problems in their area of control. Frankly, I am very curious about what else exists in the universe and what is going on outside the Earth ,
Also
 I think we should be aware of anything new in the world. So emiting space craft and observing new lands could be crucial.
On the other hand
, The earth does not have the potential to support humankind forever and its supplies will end one day.
Thus
 The men have to discover another suitable spot to live.
In addition
, March recently seems desperately the only option that has been searching till now. and draws a lot of attention to itself with satisfying criteria. Despite all the reasons mentioned, non-progressed and poor countries must have focused on other troubles
such
 as poverty, malnourished
people
, dreadful economies etc. Because, In my side of view, human life is a substantial issue that each government have to put its effort into . So it is reasonable whether your
people
 have an adequate situation to exist,
then
 concentrate on
further
 improvement. In the 21st century, we are witnessing an intensifying number of dead children who are deceased as they cannot derive proper nutrition.
However
, a non-affluence economy not only influences low-proportion
people
 in society but
also
 has a great impact on those
people
 who are considered moderate. In a way of conclusion, conquering and grasping space does not assume unnecessary,
although
 there are still subjects that matter more.
Therefore
, in my ,opinion the government should set some priorities when they are authorizing.
Submitted by reihanetorfe on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Develop your introduction and conclusion more fully to provide a clear framework for the essay.
Task Achievement
Consider addressing the task prompt more directly by providing a balanced discussion of both space programs and domestic problems.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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