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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #hours #work #happen #development
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In
this
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 modern age, employees have to spend extra hours working in many different countries in the world. There are several reasons for
this
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 trend, which is having a significant impact on both family
life
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 and communication as a whole, and I believe
this
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 does more harm than good. There are two important factors why working
time
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 is extended among people.
Firstly
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, it is definitely that people want to earn more money so that they can afford their daily
life
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. Nowadays, the cost of living has increased a lot more than before, not only in the big cities but
also
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 in the countryside. That problem puts heavy pressure on employees and workers, making their lives harder.
Furthermore
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, working overtime is required for the breadwinner to have enough money to pay bills and feed themselves, and their families.
Secondly
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, they have to face heavy workloads, which forces them to spend more
time
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 working on it. If they minimize the
time
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 doing these works, there is a high chance they miss the deadlines, unable to finish given tasks, which is a big trouble with their careers.
Although
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 the advantages
this
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 tendency brings to us, I think it is negative
due to
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 two main reasons. One main cause of
this
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 issue is that it causes lots of serious health problems when residents spend long hours at work. Overworking makes them have little or no
time
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 off, and continuing
this
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 situation for a long
time
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 will lead to physical degradation, and some meet mental issues. Another negative impact of
this
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 is the imbalance of work and
life
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. Many people spend half of their day working at the office, in construction, ... so they don't have enough
time
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 for themselves, the ones who have a relationship with
such
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 as family and friends.
This
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also
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 leads to the fact that they find no fun in daily
life
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 because of lack of
time
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, relationships can be broken. In conclusion, there a some reasons why employees work overtime.
As a result
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, there could be negative influences on individual families and society at large.
Submitted by xuanbtm on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • economic pressures
  • financial stability
  • competitive job markets
  • corporate cultures
  • stigma
  • demonstrate dedication
  • advent of technology
  • blurred the lines
  • accelerated career progression
  • dedicated employee
  • significant negative implications
  • stress levels
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • social and family time
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
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