As life expectancy is increasing, people work after retirement with pay. Alternatively, some people start to work at a young age. Are these positive or negative impacts?
It is considered that individuals'
life
durations are rising, and they devote their lives to their work
with a salary. Therefore
, most of them start working at an early age
. According to
my opinion, these trends have detrimental effects on human beings because they don't have time for relaxation, and also
face difficulty in finding jobs for the young generation. Secondly
, the youth also
lose their concentration from their studies although
it is beneficial for them as they gain experience it ruins their studies schedule. I will discuss this
in detail in the essay below.
To begin
with, as the lifecycle of most people is showing an upward trend, their work
efficacy also
increases. Hence
they continue to do their task after the legal age
of retirement so, they do not feel relaxed as most of the time they have given to their work
to save money
and live a happy life
. Instead
of living a joyful life
, they are under the stress of doing work
without thinking of their health and when the time comes, they become lethargic and weak physically and are unable to enjoy themselves fully. However
, it also
affects the rate of employment for a youngster as they are still in a working position so they are unable to get that seat, therefore
they prefer to move abroad and leave their nation for the sake of a better future. As in most Asian countries, like in Pakistan adults are leaving their motherland due to
a shortage of work
rate.
On the flipside, there are some positive factors also
as it enhances the experience of the young individuals but the meantime distracts them from studies. Consequently
, they start to do part-time jobs to earn some money
hence
they lose stability on their academic side and try to make money
and think of saving it to enjoy in the end. Furthermore
, by engaging themselves in work
they remain fit and fine not physically but also
mentally when they are at the age
of retirement they feel bored and hence
become a patient with dementia. Therefore
, it is good to indulge themselves in doing work
but
not only for the sake of saving Correct word choice
apply
money
.
In conclusion, I understand that there are merits and demerits of doing work
at a late age
but, I think that the weight of working at a late age
is higher hence
harming life
as well as
for the new generation.Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay includes a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Introduction and conclusion should establish and summarize your position and main points.
coherence cohesion
Develop clear and logical paragraphing with appropriate use of linking words to guide the reader through the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with relevant, detailed, and specific examples that illustrate the argument effectively.
task achievement
Address the task by presenting a balanced view on the positive and negative impacts, ensuring that all parts of the prompt are answered comprehensively.
task achievement
Express ideas clearly and comprehensively, making sure each paragraph contributes effectively to the overall argument.
task achievement
Include a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to add precision and variety to your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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