Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to cintinue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

#artists #salaries #government #cintinue #work

It is true that almost of

artists

should receive subsidies from the

government

support

them to continue with their work because they earn low salaries. From where I stand, I definitely agree with

this

kind of policy which is vital for

artists

and musicians. Arts are usually regarded as an unnecessary thing in Taiwan. Kids are demanded to enhance their academic performances by their parents. Actually, artwork can not improve our work efficiency directly, so there is a fierce debate that the

government

should abolish the financial

support

for

artists

and use

this

money to invest in the industry

that is

more productive,

for instance

, high-technology innovation. In spite of artwork can not help us to improve our efficiency in daily life, it is more powerful than we thought that art can enhance our life quality.

Firstly

, two products which have totally the same functions are made by two companies which are in a rival relationship. Customers will tend to choose the products which have the more attractive appearance.

Second,

art is always the best food for human mentality because it can satisfy people's sense of athletics.

Last

but not least, a successful country should

support

every individual who has any kind of excellent talent, including art and music. In conclusion, it is essential that

artists

gain the funding from

government

because artworks make a significant contribution as other industries can do.

Furthermore

, if the

government

can

support

the

artists

properly, it will create a more wonderful and beautiful society.

Submitted by eulerlin on Mon Aug 28 2023

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coherence

Your essay presents some relevant points, but the overall structure can be improved for better coherence and clarity.

task response

The introduction is weak and the conclusion lacks a strong summary of your main points. You should focus on providing a clearer and more comprehensive response to the task question.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Task 2: In many countries, people decide to have a child at a later age. Why is this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think certain prisoner should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree.